Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
You have no need to support this family, and by extension, support Raj's parents.
Put your money with your other children. Let them know about the trust fund. It is up to them to take care of their children. College before beach house.
You did not teach your daughter this kind of behavior but she is married to a narcissist and follows him, to her detriment, and to yours.
Back off and let her come to her senses or not. Don't try to argue or change them or make an issue about this. It will only waste your energy and bring you down.
dear Elliott, your advice is great! do you agree I should continue to help with babysitting , so as not to be a jerk, but act nonconfrontation