How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Bonnie Your Own Question

Bonnie
Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2183
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
37122071
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Bonnie is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 25 month old son takes a gym class once a week and loves

Resolved Question:

My 25 month old son takes a gym class once a week and loves it. For the last month, the 5 year old brother of another student has been coming with his mother to watch his sister in the class. I'm getting really frustrated with his behavior. Here's an example of what happened last night:

*We arrived a few minutes early, and one of the rooms was closed off with a rope. My son obviously can't read, and he can walk right under the rope, so he started walking into the room. I stopped him and was standing at the entrance of the room with him. The 5 year old got right in my son's face and loudly said "NO... YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE." I told the 5 year old that we were just looking at things and then walked away.

*The kids were putting on safety harnesses at the climbing wall. I told my son that he needed to put his 'belt' on. The five year old looked at me and said "It's a harness, not a belt.' I bit my tongue and calmly told him that my son doesn't know what a harness is, but he knows what a belt is.

*My son said something to the teacher. I'll admit it was hard to understand, because he's only two. The five year old looked at the teacher and said 'What did he say? I can't understand anything he says.'

*They started walking over to the vaulting area, and my son stopped to look at an animal mural on the wall. The five year old went up to him and said "You're supposed to be over there."

After thirty minutes of this little boy telling us everything my son was doing wrong, I was a bit annoyed. I was even more annoyed by the fact that his parents acted as if nothing was wrong. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but as a child I was taught to be gentle with other kids and not to correct adults. His grandmother was there last night, and she taught elementary school for years. But the only time she corrected her grandson was when he picked on his three year old sister.

I'm looking for some advice on how to handle things next week when I see this little boy again.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 1 year ago.
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,

This child is what I call "the keeper of the rules". The rules are very important to him and he goes to many lengths to enforce them. He does not distinguish that this is not socially appropriate. His parent's probably do correct him at times but it is very hard to change the thinking of these children. These children also think in black and white.

I would try to view this as involuntary behavior of the 5 year old. Try not to be annoyed by this. I think your replies have been appropriate and I would continue to help him see thing in a different way.

For example "I can't understand him": Yes 2 year old children are still learning.
Your supposed to be here: "yes he is just 2, he likes to look at pictures first.
That kind of thing.

I hope this helps to tolerate this "keeper of the rules" personality and please feel sorry for his parents because they are dealing with this constantly.

Warm regards
Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2183
Experience: and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
Bonnie and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    19
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions

Chat Now With A Parenting Counselor
Bonnie
Bonnie
210 Satisfied Customers
and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.