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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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I recently gave my second-grader mandatory chores. He throws

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I recently gave my second-grader mandatory chores. He throws a fit every day. How should I respond when he says I never do any work?
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,

Children his age can find a million ways that "the world is not fair". This is one of the ways. This is a lesson to be learned because it is true...the world is not fair. The best thing to do is to reflect the feeling that is beneath the words.....and then, just state the rules or the reality.

So when he says..."you never do any work"...underneath he is saying "This is not fair". So you reply, "Yes I know you think having chores is not fair, but in our family we all do things to help out. It is the rule." This acknowledgment of his feeling should diffuse (lessen) his frustration.

I hope this helps.
Warm regards
Bonnie and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I was waiting to give this a try before rating, but the opportunity never came up. I have been using the "I understand you feel ____" thing and it does seem to help a little.

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