Thank you for using Just Answer. I am sorry that you are in this difficult situation.
I think ignoring some of what is going on (or at least responding neutrally) can be helpful. It also sounds like trying to strengthen your relationship with your daughter and her boyfriend could help. Perhaps you can invite the boyfriend to lunch or to do something together where you can get to know each other better? And, then you can try and spend time separately with your daughter to strengthen your relationship with her. Try and focus on what is going well and remind each of them about the positive aspects of your relationship. If you do talk to them about how you feel remember to communicate using "I statements" for example: "I feel really sad when I don't get spend time with you" or "I feel sad when you say things about me." Please let me know if this is helpful or if you have any follow up questions.