How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask empathy-reborn Your Own Question

empathy-reborn
empathy-reborn, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 11
Experience:  L3 in CCLD. Acted as a SENCo. Voluntary Exp with Young People of all ages
72232727
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
empathy-reborn is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 12 year old daughter is getting ready to start a new school

Customer Question

My 12 year old daughter is getting ready to start a new school this year. She has always gone to private Christian schools, and this is the third one. The first one, when she was k-middle of third grade. She had gotten hit or slapped by a few different children a few times that by the time Christmas break she begged to not go back. We then went to another Christian school until this last year. She finished 5th grade, but had a lot of problems with one of the girls (4 girls total in class) so much that all of the kids in her class said they didn't like my daughter anymore and all sided with the other girl. She was very upset and said that none of the kids ever like her, and they didn't like her at the original school either. And she doesn't know why. Well, just so happens we are moving to another state and she will be going to a new school. She is very excited and really looking forward to it. I just don't want her to have any problems like she has experienced in the past. I know when I try to give her advice she thinks you know....I'm her mother...what do I know???!!???
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Tom replied 1 year ago.

Greetings, That your daughter is starting a new school gives her and you a fresh start on the problem; but, I think something is going on socially that you are unaware of and your daughter may not understand since she has had social problems with her peers in the past. Before she starts school, have a chat with her teacher(s) that there has been some issues in the past and that you would like to be informed as soon as possible if they notice any problems and most importantly, what those problems are. The problem still needs to be diagnosed; you do not know what is going on. Let your daughter know that you have an honest communication going with her teachers. She may not like that, but you are her mother and the adult and are working with the other important adults in her life to make sure she grows up healthy and well physically, mentally, intellectually, emotionally and socially. So, this is the starting point. I am almost certain that things will develop. Also, remember she is starting a new phase of adolescence and she will have her emotional ups and downs. Have frank and sincere talks with her on a regular basis. Keep me posted and I will help you along if anything emerges. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX

Expert:  empathy-reborn replied 1 year ago.
Hello,

I agree with Dr. Tom, if you form strong communications with teachers, make the school aware of previous schools and ask them to monitor it and request it. As your paying private fees, you the right to request this in writing.


Yours sincerely,

Tom Constable.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Thank You,


 


I appreciate your answer. I will consider it for sure. I was really hoping to get some advice as to some sort of advice I could give her. Something to help her with her behavior so that there wouldn't be a problem to begin with. You and I both know that once the teacher is involved she will always be known as the kid that the teacher is always telling everyone to be nice to. I don't want her to just let people walk all over her, but I also want her to be able to make friends, without being bossy or unapproachable. Thanks!

Expert:  empathy-reborn replied 1 year ago.
By getting teachers involved will not make her known because all students will be treated fairly.

Tom constable.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Okay...so...do you have any advice I can give her directly?

Expert:  empathy-reborn replied 1 year ago.
The best advice you can give a child who is being bullied, is reassuring them. Make them aware that they can talk to you about anything and you won't be angry. By reinforcing this maternal link, their confidence will grow. Just reassure her that if she is bullied to tell the teacher and then when she arrives home. She should tell you. This way you can follow it up to make sure the school is taking appropriate action.

Yours truly,

Tom Constable.
empathy-reborn, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 11
Experience: L3 in CCLD. Acted as a SENCo. Voluntary Exp with Young People of all ages
empathy-reborn and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Dr. Tom replied 1 year ago.

Another suggestion is to begin building a relationship with her that will take her through her adolescence. That is today, having talks with her about whether she has some insight into why people treat her the way they do. Is she doing anything to instigate treating her badly? Making friends at her age is usually a little tough. But let your daughter know that friends treat each other with respect and respect each other's boundaries. Friends are kind and do not talk about each other behind each other's back. This is a time of her life when she can make friends that last a lifetime ... let her know that. Ask her if she knows how to make friends. Learn a bit more of what she is experiencing and that will help you counsel her properly. I hope this helps you grow in your relationship with your daughter. Best.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered