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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Psychologist; Parent
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My daughter just graduated from college this year. It seems

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My daughter just graduated from college this year. It seems that she does not contact her friends at college (although they get along really well at school). she does not go out with other kids from high school either. she mostly stays at home, get up late(12:00 pm) and surfing on the internet. she does get along well with other people if we get together with family friends. was she burned out? how can I help her?
Hello. There are many factors to this and it depends mostly on her goals. If you say she may be burned out, she maybe needs some time to just do what she needs to do for now. At the same time, you don't want her to get into a pattern of doing this for a long period of time. You need to ask her what her goals are as far as finding a job, etc. You did not say if she lived with you or not, but if it is becoming a burden on you and your own home life, you need to just talk with her. Ask her what is on her mind, what she needs and if you can help her. You will at least get an idea of what she is thinking, her motivation level and her plans for the future. As far as socialization, there can be nothing wrong with not wanting to socialize with people or it could be a sign of depression. It's difficult for me to tell with 100% certainty. The botXXXXX XXXXXne is to talk with her honestly and bluntly and ask her what you can do to help her and at least get an idea of where she is emotionally and then go from there.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hello, Dr. Paige:

Thank you for your response. I think you are the right person to talk to. My daughter went to a very competitive school majoring in engineering. she changed her mind on the second year and decided to go with English. My feeling is she felt hard to do well in science at school. she was setback since she had been a straight A student all the way. after graduation, she told me that she wanted to go to the graduate school majored in writing. The enrollment requires her to submit 4 essays and she is working on it, but not hard enough, in my opinion. We talked and I suggested the she look for some internship to see if she would like that as a career. she took the advice but not putting a lot of effort on it.


My observation is: she is a bit lost on what she needs to do, or chooses her career path. I, on the other side, wants to see how I can improve her motivation/ambitious level or help her to get back on to the right track.


I don't know if I should give her a little bit more time to recoup?


Living with us is no problem, I just hate to see her getting up so late every day.


Thank you very much for all your help!


I think you should just have a talk with her and see if that's where she is as well. She may have an issue with direction with careers, it is a really tough job market out there and that doesn't help either. Have a good talk with her, see what she says to you and get back with me about what she said and I can help you go form there.
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