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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1474
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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i learned from my 11 year old son he was accused of stealing

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i learned from my 11 year old son he was accused of stealing cupcakes from an unknown kids birthday party at the workout club we belong too. I asked him if he did calmly knowing he worries about getting in trouble and is sensitive. I also told him that while the action is bad if true that lying will only make things worse. I explained to him qhy but he assured me he was truthful. I didnt want him to feel a need to lie. After asking him 3 or 4 times spaced out, I believed without a doubt he was truthful. He was very convincing. My oldest son finds out that he bragged about his success in taking 6 cupcakes and posted it in Instagram. I am beside myself right now. Not sure how to handle. I want to line up a time where he can apologize to the family in question in person. Maybe even do their yard work for a month. Maybe call the police and have them scare him a bit. Please help
Have him apologize and find some way to make it up to them. No need to get mad or defensive, even the best kids will lie. He knows where you stand on the issue so no need to beat a dead horse. He did wrong and now he needs to make it right.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I was considering a: having him apologize to to the family whose Birthday party I am sure was interrupted, club management for putting them through this and his brothers for affecting the community reputation of their name. I explained to his how people talk. Evidenced by the fact his older brother got the pics from his friends and sent them to me. I reassured him that he is ok. That I have done worse and I am a good man. I told him the story of Paul and how even with his killing he was a blessed loving man whom. That your bad choices dont make you who you are. What you do after does. That said, I feel there still needs to be some punishment. Im also not sure about his friend. Nice kid and I always liked him but he is caught up in a group trying to be cool in unhealthy ways I believe. I wonder if having a Police Officer talk to him might cement in the reality of what he did. Thoughts?

I think monitoring the kids he hangs around is needed. At 11, if he is generally a good kid then don't get the police involved. I think having him apologize to the boy who he stole the cupcakes from and coming up with a way to pay him back is all the punishment that is needed. Maybe throwing in no video games for a week, or whatever he is really in to, would get the point across.
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