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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2737
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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how do i remain firm in my expectations (no drugs, alcohol,

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how do i remain firm in my expectations (no drugs, alcohol, smoking) when my 16 year old does what she wants no matter what. one would literally have to physically restrain her and keep her in sight 24/7.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Any help at this point is welcome. I am lost and she is out the door.
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Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families. I am also a mom of Twins.

I am sorry to hear of the struggles you are having with your daughter. IT seems clear that you are a loving Mom and have tried many things but no parent can be on watch 24/7. Sounds like you are firm in your boundaries as to what is acceptable behavior in your home and that her behavior is extremely disruptive to the home environment. She knows she can do as she pleases with you as evidenced by her coming back after her Dad threw her out.

I am sure you have been clear with her about YOUR rules and what the consequences are. Whatever you decide those are sticking to them is crucial. For example if you indicate that drugs and alcohol are not allowed and that she will have to find alternate living arrangements if this is seen, then sticking to it will show you mean business.

Right now she is ruling your household, but you get to set the appropriate boundaries and she must stick to them or suffer the consequences that have been clearly laid out for her by you. Not easy at all, as I can hear your love and compassion, but I can also hear your exasperation. You are entitled to a have a home that is without chaos.

Figure out what is tolerable for you and what the consequences will be if she does not follow. Let me know your thoughts.
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2737
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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