Hi. I am sorry that you are having some difficulty with your daughter. The toddler years can be challenging. A lot of times children hit as a way to communicate whether it is to express a feeling, to get attention, or as a way to interact with others. It sounds like you have tried a lot of things, but if you haven't tried some of these, here are some ideas:
1. Try and teach her another way to communicate her needs. If she hits because she is angry. Teach her to say, "I'm mad" and you can even teach her to stomp her feet or huff (its a safer way to express her anger). If she is hitting because she wants attention, teach her to say, "mommy will you play with me please".
2. Acknowledge her feelings. You must be really angry if you are hitting. But, there is no hitting. If you are angry, say, "I'm Mad"
3. Teach her to be gentle. When she hits, especially if it is play, remind her to be gentle and show her how. Take her hand and brush it gently where she hit you so that she can see the difference.
It takes some time and as she gains more impulse control, language skills and social skills the hitting will probably decrease. Be consistent, and use lots of gentle reminders, redirection and use the opportunity to teach her what you want her to do (be gentle).
As for the sleep issue, is she fussing and crying when she is in her crib? Is this every night? How do you respond? When she does eventually fall asleep, how does she get to sleep? She may be going through a phase when she does not want to be separated from you and therefore is acting out to keep you in the room (this happens often around 2). While you are traveling you may want to try lying with her to give her comfort and if that works, when you return home slowly phase out of the room (lying with her for less and less time each night).
I hope this information has been helpful. If so, please give me a positive rating. Also, if you would like I can send some parenting handouts about discipline and time outs that I have created. If you are interested please let me know and I can attach them. And, let me know more about the sleep issue so I can help you with that. Best, Kerrie
Hi, thanks we will try some of that. We do already take her hand and brush it on our face soft and say this is nice. She says nice and does it like that soft, but then will either squeeze and scratch or hit. the issue is at night she won't go down. Right now we have her in our room, and have no playpen/crib. We will put her in her chair and rock her to sleep with a bottle, but in a matter of minutes or 1hr she will throw the bottle and start crying for us. This will go on all night. We will put her in a small bed next to ours in the room on the floor (pullout) and she does this too. We litterally haven't slept in a week and it's exausting and emotionally so hard ot keep doing. At home she would cry but we could leave her in her crib until she calmed herself in her room and would slleep throughout most of the night. Not sure what to do
Yes we have let sleep in bed, doesn't seem to keep her asleep. Getting her down takes about 1hr minimum, but within an hr it's back to the same things and it goes on all night. We've tried it all, she just will sit up, throw her bottle and cry. We can't be away from her and even then she fusses and doesn't want to sleep
Is it possible she is having night terrors or sleep terrors?
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no, none of this seems to be what is going on