How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask camd2000 Your Own Question

camd2000
camd2000, Parent Coach/Therapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 13
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Child and Family Therapist, Parent Educator and Mother.
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
camd2000 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Thank you very much for your kind and helpful words. I agree

Resolved Question:

Thank you very much for your kind and helpful words. I agree it is probably time to talk about this with her.

Can you give us any suggestions on how to well, even begin the conversation, and how to keep her interest. Sometimes when she isn't interested in whatever we may be talking about we get the rolling eyes, etc... Then I think we end up sounding like we are basically trying too hard, and then end up trying to give her some sort of compensation to make up for the awkwardness. In the end, never really get anywhere. You can just see by her expression that she kinda knows how uncomfortable we are and we are trying to "please" her so to speak.

Thank You in advance!
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  camd2000 replied 1 year ago.

camd2000 :

It might be helpful if you talk with your daughter alone. She might feel more comfortable opening up because it is one-on-one and because you are her mother. She might be more willing to be honest about the specifics of what she is worried about, especially if they are related to your previous marriage or to your current partner. I would start by taking her out to do something she likes, or going into her room, or better yet when you are driving somewhere (children often open up more when in a car or distracted by another activity - throwing a ball around, drawing, whatever she might like to do). It is less intimidating for them. You could start by acknowledging that this is a big change and change is hard for everyone. You can talk about a change that was hard for you or even acknowledge any potential anxiety you have about the change. It normalizes it for her and validates her feelings. Then, encourage her to tell you what she is worried about. If she is not able to say (and is still open to continuing talking), you can suggest some things that you think it might be. I wonder if you are worried about how this will impact our relationship, I wonder if you are worried about getting used to living with a new person, I wonder if you are worried that this marriage will end like it ended with your father? The more open you are, the more likely your daughter will be open. It takes time to open up difficult conversations like this. So, you don't need to push it if she doesn't want to talk about it. Give it time, let her know you are there to talk about it if she wants to and cease opportunities that are calm and try and talk to her again about it. If she is still unwilling to talk about it, you can talk to her about a time when you were anxious about (and didn't have control over) a change. If your daughter begins to open up, acknowledge and validate her feelings, ask her what she thinks would make the transition easier. Once you have some success talking to her on your own, I would slowly reintroduce your partner into the conversation. Use some of the ideas your daughter gives you about easing the transition to be a conversation starter with your partner.

camd2000 :

Hopefully this helps answer your question. I wish you all the best and would love to hear back if you have further questions or for an update on how things go. Good luck!

camd2000, Parent Coach/Therapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 13
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Child and Family Therapist, Parent Educator and Mother.
camd2000 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JA/JACUSTOMERbryjz898/2012-5-23_93829_me2.64x64.jpg Adviser Mills C.C.D.'s Avatar

    Adviser Mills C.C.D.

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    15
    15 years Plus, Preschool Owner, Teen Mentor