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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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any ideas on how to deal with this stage of my childs age,

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any ideas on how to deal with this stage of my child's age, 3 and 5 months. All she wants is to take her older brother's stuff. And she whines about everything which becomes annoying. She only does it with her mother, but it gets really annoying.
Hello and thank you for using our service,

So there are two behavior of concern: Taking brothers things and whining with mother.

Let's take them one at a time:
Taking brothers stuff: This is common and normal for a 3 year old. They lack impulsive control and if brother has something cool and they want it, they take it. This will become less of a problem as she gets older and can stop her impulses. At 3, she is able to understand house rules. So when she does this, say "I know you would really like that but the rule in our house is do not take others things." As she gets a little older (closer to 4) you can add a consequence "and if you break the rule you will need to sit in time out for 4 minutes".

Whining (just for mom): First of all, it is common for mothers to get the whiny behavior usually because they are a safer person to express discomfort (mom's are just softer and less strict). So mother should say, "I know you are unhappy but I will help you if you use your big girl voice...this baby (whiny) voice is too annoying". So this will let child know that her feelings are okay and she is taught another way to express them appropriately.

I hope this helps and warm regards
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