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earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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Hi, How do you help an adult child, 21, decide what he wants

Customer Question


How do you help an adult child, 21, decide what he wants to do with his life when he is uncertain and you think as a parent that him being in school is the best way to go and are willing to pay for it, provided he commit himself to something?

When talking with him about it, the feeling is that, even if he doesn't know what he wants to do, moving forward with school will help him.

He has taken two years of school and is currently out of school and working. We are skeptical that he will be able to figure it out without being in school, or without doing a job that he likes (He is working in lower wage jobs in the service industy right now, work to pay bills rather than something he loves -- he's out on his own for the first time in his life, the junior college coursework he took was while living at home).

It feels like the degree would give him a practical advantage, and give him time to think. One mistake as parents is telling him school will be taken care of as long as he commits to something. Maybe this has made him feeling like he has to **know** what he wants to do forever.

I realize this is a big question, and he also has some issues with depression, but talent and ability that we'd like to see him be able to grow in himself and in the world.

Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 3 years ago.


earthsister :

Hello, I would like to help with your question.

earthsister :

Have you already explained to him that you think it would be best for him to begin atleast his basic college course work, as he makes the decision of exactly what he wants to do? It may be helpful for him to talk with an admissions counselor or academic adviser to help him get a better idea of what subject he may want to study.




The first question, the answer is yes, the second idea, we haven't done that yet and would like to try.

earthsister :

What is his response when you tell him that you think starting is a good idea? A adviser from a school that he likes may really help in getting him to see the benefit of starting his education now, even before he knows what he wants to do. By beginning his studies, this may allow him to have more access to get an idea of what he wants to major in.


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