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earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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My college freshman daughter just told me she is considering

Resolved Question:

My college freshman daughter just told me she is considering rooming with 4 of her guy friends in a coed suite next year. What are some of the pros and cons of this arrangement I can give her as her mom
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.

earthsister :

Hello, I would like to help with your question today.

earthsister :

Do you know any of these guy friends, and would their be any other females residing there as well, or only her?

Customer:

Only her. She knows these guys pretty well from this year, they spent a lot of time together, a group of them. Like a family

Customer:

I haven't met any of them

earthsister :

I don't want to be negative, and I would want to think that you can trust your daughter, but these boys are a whole different story. I honestly can't think of too much positive about her living with four boys; I would feel very uncomfortable alone knowing that my freshman daughter is living with one boy, let alone 4. You of course know your daughter. I myself was a tom boy all throughout my youth; most of my friends were boys. But as I aged, I learned that it's very difficult for a man and woman to be just friends. Even per-say if all four of these boys are homosexual, this is overall an uncomfortable situation that I would certainly advise my daughter not to get into. Please let me know if you need any clarification on my answer. I want to be sure to provide you with an answer that you can use. Thank you

Customer:

I agree with your concerns. I just have to figure out how to put it to her so she will consider what happens if one of them becomes attracted to her or she to him, and then it doesn't work out.

earthsister :

Well, I think it's even bigger than that.

earthsister :

What if one of them, or more aren't trustworthy? Men are stronger than women naturally; we've all heard the college stories about the girl who gets attacked by a group of guys. Again, I hate to be negative, I'm only thinking about your daughter's safety.

earthsister :

Even simpler, she'll be around a bunch of guys, who'll probably have girls over, may leave their underwear around, walk around in their underwear (or worse), see her in her underwear or worse; etc. There's just too many uncomfortable possibilities with such an arrangement.

earthsister :

I really don't think there is a way to sugar-coat it for her; just be honest and real. She is an adult, and I am sure will ultimately make her own decision, but I think as a mom, it's best for you to be completely against that (in as calm a manner as possible). Is her Dad in her life; if so, what does he think?

Customer:

She doesn't get along with her dad. We are going through a divorce right now, and she just got over a relationship. Which may explain a little why she may like being around guys.

earthsister :

I can understand that. I preferred being around guys instead of girls when I was younger also, however that does not mean she has to live with them. While your daughter may be thinking they are all just friends, one or more of the guys may have something else in mind. And considering that she just got over a relationship, she would probably be best being alone right now, not surrounding her self around a group of guys. And if she ever expects to have a boyfriend while living with these fellows, how will he take her living with four guys? Again, this situation I think has way too many potentially negative angles, and very few, if any positive.

Customer: Thanks.. I'm talking with her with your advice
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience: Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
earthsister and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.
Please let me know if you need any further advice. I am here to help. I wish you all the best.
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience: Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
earthsister and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

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