I am so sorry what you have been going through
This is a very difficult situation
The situation is having an affect on him and he may feel he is in the middle between both of you.
Also, sometimes children of separated parents play on both sides to get what they want. For example he may say his dad is more fun in order for you to do what it is he wants when he wants.
I would not play into this behavior.
I would continue to do your part and not give up on him
Even though it may seem as if nothing is working or will work it is perseverance that will overcome this battle. The fact you want your ex to stop using the children as pawns is very good on your part.
However, it is unfortunate, but you do not have control over your ex. Fortunately you can do your part and what you said you have been doing is very good
You may not see results overnight and there may be this rough phase for a while before it gets better, but it can
I understand why you would feel hopeless and tires, but I want to encourage you to not give up
It is good you have an appt with the child psychologist and would continue with that.
In the meantime keep doing what you have been. Don't allow guilt trips to confuse your parenting. The rules are the rules and there should be proper punishment if the rules are broken. Sometimes parents allow the child to do as they please on situations as such in order to be the " good parent" I would encourage you not to do this as it can make things worse.
Do spend time with him and try to get on his level. Do something he enjoys that you approve of and have quality time together taking a break out of the daily routine.
I do understand this and is a difficult situation.
He maybe upset for you fighting for custody now, but if you don't he can resent you later in life so even though you have a logical concern it is best that you still do your part.
There may be difficulty by the time the court decides and will not be easy, but I would not worry prematurely. It would be best to
Not worry and deal with each situation that happens. There is a lot involved here and each day may bring new ideas or problems, so deal with them as they come accordingly.
You can not do anything about your ex, but hopefully he can come to terms with you in order to do what is best for the children.
In your current situation it may not be what you show to your son on a daily basis , but rather what you show him over the long haul that will influence him. Him seeing in the future that you never gave up on him.
Children at this age may be blinded by certain things, but as they grow the truth comes clear and he will have a new appreciation for you
That is a good plan and what you can do now. It is my pleasure to help. Anytime.