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DrMerc
DrMerc, Clinical Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4
Experience:  Doctorate Psychologist, Certified School Psychologist
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My 5 year old, has anger issues, and still soils himself at

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My 5 year old, has anger issues, and still soils himself at home and school. He is two years younger than his older brother. He used to be real happy. He has his own room, does well in school academically, but still continues the same problem. I have tried discipline, taking time away, sitting on the potty in increments, love and nurture him, but nothing works. What say you?

Hi, Soiling is a significant symptom and needs to be addressed professionally. Yes, you need to get your child into treatment. You will need a child psychologist and a pediatrician and you will want them to work together. There are different ideas about encoprecis (soiling). Some Experts beleive that the first thing to do is take him to the doctor. However, in my experience this can traumatize the child as can some of the medical treatments offered. So, I would recommend consulting with the child's pediatrician so that the doctor is aware of the issue and can guide you as you move through the more likely emotional issues because you need to make sure the child is not doing any phyical harm to themselves. HAving said all of that, first you need to answer some questions. Was he ever able to control his bowels , but has regressed or did he never develop the skill? Is he able to control his bowels during the day but not at night? Does he recognize that he has a problem? The answers to these questions will guide a Expert's opinion as to the cause and in turn treatment.If he had bowel control and lost it, it is much more likely that the soiling is emotionally rooted. It can be a symptom of trauma, but it can also be a symptom of anger and since your first comment was about your sons anger that seems to be more likely. Soiling onself can be a passive way of expressing anger and control. Without knowing more it is difficult to say exactly what will help, but think about how he expresses his anger, what things make him angry, how do you express anger.... DOes he offer ideas about why he is so angry?

Hi, Soiling is a significant symptom and needs to be addressed professionally. Yes, you need to get your child into treatment. You will need a child psychologist and a pediatrician and you will want them to work together. There are different ideas about Encopresis (soiling). Some Experts believe that the first thing to do is take him to the doctor. However, in my experience this can traumatize the child as can some of the medical treatments offered. So, I would recommend consulting with the child's pediatrician so that the doctor is aware of the issue and can guide you as you move through the more likely emotional issues because you need to make sure the child is not doing any physical harm to themselves. However, there may be some treatments that are not invasive that could help (usually to help if the child is constipated as this is often a problem). HAving said all of that, first you need to answer some questions. Was he ever able to control his bowels , but has regressed or did he never develop the skill? Is he able to control his bowels during the day but not at night? Does he recognize that he has a problem? The answers to these questions will guide a Experts opinion as to the cause and in turn treatment.If he had bowel control and lost it, it is much more likely that the soiling is emotionally rooted. It can be a symptom of trauma, but it can also be a symptom of anger and since your first comment was about your sons anger that seems to be more likely. Soiling oneself can be a passive way of expressing anger and control. Without knowing more it is difficult to say exactly what will help, but think about how he expresses his anger, what things make him angry, how do you express anger.... DOes he offer ideas about why he is so angry? In general, get a treatment team, facilitate emotional expression and understanding, help him express and manage his anger, and using a reward chart for days without soiling can't hurt. hope this helps. take care

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