helloCustomer i would be glad to help you with this question
parenting and discipline are one of the main things that couples often argue about. That and finances usually top the list. But this argument is a common one and one my own husband and i faced when our kids were growing up as well. Unfortunately, in this instance, your husband is correct, to an extent. When raising children, its never too early to teach them what the rules of the house are and often times children learn by mimicking either other siblings, or parents themselves. So even though your almost three year old is 16 months younger than your son, she is still old enough to start to learn what the rules of behavior should be, and by holding her accountable as well as your son you show your son that both of them are treated the same. By not holding her accountable your son may start to feel that your daughter is favored and this can lead to sibling rivalry and resentment as well as feelings of low self esteem on your sons part. However, you are also right, to an extent, that she shouldn't receive the same amount of trouble. A way that most parents handle this is with the time out discipline. Usually, for time out, a child receives one minute for each year of their age. So your son would be in time out for 4 minutes and your 3 year old for 3 minutes. Always think about the lessons you want both your children to learn. Discipline (notice i don't say punishment) is designed to teach a lesson. It's done out of love, not anger, and is meant to teach a child
what you want them to learn. When you discipline a child you always explain the reasons why you are disciplining them and then afterwards have a conversation with them about why they were disciplined and what they could have done differently. Always follow through on both parts and always be consistent in your discipline. The same action gets the same discipline every single time, and after the discipline is over and you have talked about why, all is forgiven and you move on. this teaches the child that they are still loved even though they did something wrong and it teaches them why they did something wrong and what the correct response should have been. Does this makes sense?
I hope that you found this helpful. If not, please let me know so that i might help you further.