Hello, I would like to help with your question today.
Your daughter is obviously staying in close contact since their is so much going on in both of your lives, and not only does she need the support, but she probably figures you could use it too.
Is the divorce with her father?
I know, therefore I felt torn about it.. yes it's with her father
and he has anger management issues, no doubt she worries for me
You two (you and your daughter) definitely need each other now. Yes, answer her texts, talk to her on the phone whenever you both are available, she certainly needs you now. Does she have siblings?
she has a brother she isn't close to
Do they both share you and her father as parents?
I wanted her to feel like she didn't need to call me first, to try to work things out over at her school with her friends first.
yes, same father.
Yet, it's not just the advice she may need, she's concerned about you as well.
Just being able to stay in close contact with you may do her heart and mind a world of good.
OK. I just thought maybe I was enabling her to feed her insecurity by being there as a safety net all the time
Well, I don't think you should solve all of her problems for her, but always be there to listen and to let her know that you are ok. She will have to figure out some things for her self, but at this tender time, with both her moving on to a whole new world away from you, and this divorce between you and her father, she really needs you to help keep her grounded right now.
you're right. Thanks for your help.
You are certainly welcome. If you have any other questions, or need further input, please don't hesitate to message for me, "earthsister." I wish you the best!