Hello, my name isXXXXX a 35 year old single mom, and I have a 14 year old daughter and a 15 year old son. My husband left us Nov 1st 2012. He is not my kids biological father, but we were married for 9 years. He and my son never got along. I have been having problems with my son since he was 13. When he was 14, he was charged with possession of marijuana & drug paraphenelia & put on probation for 5 months. He stopped smoking marijuana, but he got caught selling it to another kid. He had a felony distribution charge against him, & was looking at up to 5 years. Instead of jail time, they gave him drug court. He's been in it for 8 months now, & it has been the most stressful thing I have ever been through. It sucks the life out of me. He does not appreciate anything I do for him. And I move mountains for him. I think it's due to the guilt I have of him not having a father, and he always talks about how he wishes he had a dad, and it breaks my heart. I am 1,600 miles away from my family and friends. I have absolutely no help at all. I'm trying to finish my RN, work, go through this horrible drug court program with him, go through a divorce, and raise 2 teenagers by myself. I'm so overwhelmed it's indescribable. My daughter has mood disorders NOS and ADHD,and she is very hard to deal with, but in completely different ways. She is 100% against drugs, alcohol, smoking, or breaking the law, and I thank God for that every day.
My son lost his iPhone, so now when he's not with his girlfriend, I have to pry my phone from him just to make a phone call. He started dating this girl 2 months ago, and I do not like her at all. She is 17 years old, and she has already hurt him several times. He says he is IN LOVE with her. It turns my stomach. He acts like she is the air he breaths. Last night she was at my house, & I asked my daughter to go tell my son I wanted my phone back. My daughter knocked on his door & went in his room and told him I wanted my phone back. She accidentally knocked over a coke he had on his floor & she told him she was sorry and she would clean it up but he shouldn't have had it on the floor. He started yelling and cussing at her, so she told him to clean it up himself . I was sitting on my patio trying to relax and read a book. I had a small glass of merlot in my hand. My daughter ran outside to me because my son was going after her with his fists balled. So I jumped up and put my hand on his chest and told him to stop, he wasn't going to hit her. He shoved his way through me and knocked my hand away & the whole glass of RED wine went all over me. On my white sweatshirt, my cream colored UGG boots, and my jeans. I accidentally pulled off a necklace he had on, and I didn't even realize I did it, I was just trying to grab him so he didn't hit my daughter. He flipped out about the dumb necklace. I told him I was sorry, I meant no harm, but he's not going to put his hands on anyone. I told him he could apologize since I was covered in red wine. He said he didn't have to. He said he's moving out so he doesn't have to deal with me or my daughter. He says that a lot. He accused me of being drunk, and that was not even close to true. I rarely drink. If I do, I have one glass, not even 2 of merlot, and that is is. I do that maybe once every few weeks, if that. He told ne to be quiet because he didn't want his girlfriend to hear me. That made me mad and I told him I don't care what she hears, this is my house. He said all kinds of hurtful things to me. When he went into his room, I went outside and cried for a while.
This morning I found out he pawned his X-box 360 to get his girlfriend a Valentines Day present. He doesn't know that I know yet, but I am LIVID! This girl never even speaks to me and she is bad news in my opinion. I told him not long ago that if he keeps up his behavior, he won't be able to see her anymore. He said if I do that, I can go ahead and count him as a run away.
I had him start going through counseling with a medical neuro psychologist recently. He put him on Wellbutrin for anger, depression, stress, and alcohol cravings. He only took it a few times and I did start noticing a difference as far as his anger stopped. But then he refused to take it anymore. I took him back to the doctor and he has decided to put him through testing starting next week for ADHD and personality testing. After he gets those results from the BAC tests, he will then decide whether he is going to give him the MACKEY or the MMPI. They said there is hope because their frontal lobe doesn't fully develop until age 25, which is the ability to link consequences to behavior, to make good judgements, problem solving, and makes them feel invincible with the, it will never happen to me thinking. I don't know what to do about how to deal with the X-box situation. I am trying my hardest to not blow up. I'm so mad, and I don't want to act on impulses. I don't understand his obsession with this girl either.