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SREED177
SREED177, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 217
Experience:  I have a Master's In Marriage and Family Therapy, and have been in the field for 4 years.
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My 21-month old son has been in daycare at a center since he

Resolved Question:

My 21-month old son has been in daycare at a center since he was an infant. The only problem I've had us that he clings and cries when I leave. I usually hand him over to his teacher and I know he usually stops crying within a few minutes and is happy the rest of the day. I know that as soon as she takes him she puts him down.

The last few days the teacher has had her hands full with other things, so I've had to wait a few minutes to hand him over. Today she seemed kind of annoyed at me and told him that mommy was just going to have to put him down. I tried putting him down and he grabbed on to my leg, so she ended up picking him up and moving him.

So now I don't feel like I can hand him over anymore. But I don't know how I can get out of the room if he's holding on to me. How should I handle this.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  SREED177 replied 1 year ago.
What you are experiencing is a common problems with toddlers not wanting to let go of their mothers. With that being said, you have to be firm and understanding with your son. First, when you step into the classroom and the the teacher is ready to receive him. When he is crying and holding on, get down to his level and look him in the eye. First removing him gently from your leg. Tell him that you love you, and that you have to go to work, and will be back when your done with work, tell him that MS (teachers name) is going to take good care of him. Hug and kiss him, tell him you love him, and then hand him over to her and walk away (walk away and do not linger even if he cries let the teacher handle this). Even if he tries to hold on to you again walk away. It is going to be a process, of him learning not to cry. But explaining to him why he is there, what you are going to do, and that you are going to come back and get home. Most importantly you are explaining who the teacher is and that you trust her. And you are letting him know that you love him and that the reason why he is being seperated from you is not because he is bad, but becuse you have to work. Always repeat this process, and soon he will come to know what to expect. He is going to cry when you do it for a while. Bt continue the process and he will get used to it.
SREED177, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 217
Experience: I have a Master's In Marriage and Family Therapy, and have been in the field for 4 years.
SREED177 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What you're saying makes perfect sense. I'm not alarmed by the fact that he's crying. The problem that I'm having now is that for the last two days she's been busy with other kids (diapers and potty training) and hasn't been able to easily. This morning she seemed annoyed at me at apparently wants me to just put him down and leave. Of course, the minute I put him on the floor he grabs my leg, and if I pry his hands loose he just grabs my arm. I don't know how to get out of there without someone else's help.
Expert:  SREED177 replied 1 year ago.
Well then yes, you need to have a talk with her about the process. You can say, I feel that this will go alot smoother if there is a hand off between me and you. Tell her that you think this will help both you and her dealing with her son. It will only take about 15- 30 seconds to do this whole process, so it is not like you will be taking her away for an extended period of time. As a care giver she should be dedicated in making sure this transition is smooth for him. So I would think that she would be open to it. If she is too busy to receive your child, then perhaps they need another person in the child care area, if he goes to a big day care this is something that can be discussed the person over the program.

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