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SREED177, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 220
Experience:  I have a Master's In Marriage and Family Therapy, and have been in the field for 4 years.
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I am a husband and father of two beautiful daughters aged 6

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I am a husband and father of two beautiful daughters aged 6 and 4. My wife is very hard work in as much as she feels she is hard done by and that I don't give her enough attention. She has no real hobbies or friends. She is distant and rude to everyone I know although she can have moments of loveliness but they are few and far between.
She shouts at the kids for the most minor things and blames me for everything. Please don't get me wrong: I am not faultless but get more than my fair share of accusations.
I work long hours and have a senior management position so rarely see my kids during the week.
I want to leave but am concerned about the kids and the financial implications.
Please help.
I don't think she loves me anymore although she says she does. I just don't feel like we are a couple.

Well the first thing you have to do is to see what you really want. Do you want to leave? Or do you just want your wifes attitude toward you to get better? If you still love you wife and feel like things will be better if she adjust her attitude a bit. Then this can possibly be fixed. First, by being honest with her and letting her know about the way she acts, and how it is driving you away from her. Tell her that you still love her but that the way she behaves is making it very hard for you to want to continue the marriage.

Another thing I suggest in couple's counseling. Counseling can assist her in finding the root of why she is the way she is and how to be more sensitive to other's needs. Since she has no friends, maybe you can encourage her to get into a mother's social group. Or a play group so that she can be around other people....other mothers to me more specific. It is possible that she may get rude with them. But it is also possible that by observing other positive wives and parents, that she may learn a different way to act, and understand what she is doing wrong.

If your wife says she loves you then she more than likely does. The thing is, she is rude to everyone and she just may not know how to express her love. She may also be depressed because she has not friend and does not go anywhere which may make her edgy. In any case, try to have a serious talk with her first, and then counseling before leaving. That will give you a a better decision on what you should do.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thanks for the reply.
My wife won't go to counselling and she won't accept that her behaviour is upsetting to others. I do love her but at a complete loss.
Then you have to do what is best for you. You have to evaluate how you want your life to be. First before you leave completely, you can try to take some time apart. Take time to yourself to see how you really feel. It is a possibility that when faced with losing you that she may change. And it will give you better insight on weather you feel comfortable leaving or not.
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