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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 108
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I have an extremely sensitive 6 year-old boy who is getting

Customer Question

I have an extremely sensitive 6 year-old boy who is getting picked on in school. I'm thinking its because he's quiet and gets upset when other boys say random things like "I don't like you," or "I don't like your haircut." He takes it all so personal and deep and seems to be affecting his confidence level. Any help?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. L replied 1 year ago.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. L :

I am sorry this is happening to your son. This is so difficult and upsetting for kids. And...unfortunately...it happens more than we would think.

Dr. L :

I am going to suggest some reading material for you as a way to help you be more informed about the issue and to develop some strategies for helping your son.

Dr. L :

However, I want to strongly encourage you to set up a meeting with the school principal to discuss this situation with him/her. Your son should absolutely NOT be bullied in his class. The school has a responsibility to provide a bully-free environment for him and they should have a process in place for ensuring that the policy be carried out.

Dr. L :

http://www.empoweringparents.com/Is-Your-Child-Being-Bullied.php#

Dr. L :

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bullying/MH00126

Dr. L :

http://www.interventioncentral.org/behavioral-interventions/bully-prevention/bullying-what-it-what-schools-can-do-about-it

Dr. L :

Here is a good book that I would recommend:

Dr. L :

http://www.loveandlogic.com/ecom/p-603-if-they-push-your-button-dont-let-it-ring-your-bell-cd.aspx

Dr. L :

I see that you are offline. I will be notified when you come on line and we can chat.

Dr. L :

Thank you.

Customer : Ok, perfect! I feel so bad for him because I don't know how to help him. I have been in contact with his school, but just getting the " I will watch more carefully to see if I can catch them in the act."
Customer : With a
Customer : With all the problems in our society with kids being bullied and doing harmful things to themselves terrifies me. He's only 6!! I can't believe this is starting to happen at such a young age. He has always been a very anxious child who worries and keeps things bottled up inside. He won't really try new things because he's full of anxiety about not being "good enough" at it.
Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I am so very sorry this is happening. And...I absolutely agree with you that bullying is a serious problem in our society and can have a long-standing negative impact on children. That your 6 year old is experiencing this is sad. The attitude of the school is inappropriate.They need a policy on bullying! And they need in-service training for teachers on how to handle this issue in the classroom and in the school. Wait & see is a lazy attitude! Each and every student needs to know that there is a zero-tolerance policy for bullying!

Dr. L :

If you have the energy...I would recommend that you get yourself on the agenda for the school board and bring this issue to them. Do some research on what a strong bullying policy looks like (an internet search is going to turn up tons of information on this) and present this to them. If the school already has a policy...then ask them why it is not being followed!

Dr. L :

If you intend to send your child to this school for the rest of his educational years...then you have a vested interest in making change!

Dr. L :

Another way that you can have an impact is to volunteer in your son's classroom so that you can gather information yourself. If this is not possible...see if there is a friend, relative, or another parent that you trust who would be willing to put in a few hours of volunteer time to get into that classroom and see exactly what is happening.

Dr. L :

Meanwhile, the materials I offered will be beneficial.

Dr. L :

Again, I am so sorry this is happening. Your son deserves a bully-proof classroom - and school! I encourage you to demand this level of safety for him.

Customer : Yes, looking into the bully policies is something I haven't thought of! Great advice! I have been in touch with his teacher and bus driver and the last two days have been better. I do try asynchronous as possible to be involved in the class and school, and I agree this is an important role for me to keep at! I will follow up on all your recommendations! I really appreciate all your insight!
Customer : I'm sorry, I thought I could reply and then rate you! Oops! I have to wait until you reply now! Sorry! :)
Dr. L :

I'm glad you found my suggestions helpful! Yes...there are many fine examples of bully policies as this is such a HUGE issue in schools across the country. It would be hard to imagine that your son's school hasn't created one...but if they haven't - or if the policy is weak or not being followed - then it's high time this gets some attention.

Dr. L :

Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.

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