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earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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hi, my 4 year old child does some weired things. like playing

This answer was rated:

hi,
my 4 year old child does some weired things. like playing with herself. wat can i do to stop her?
thanx

earthsister :

Hello, I would like to help you with your question today. When you say your 4 year old "plays with herself", are we talking about in a sexual way?

Customer:

Hello


 

Customer:

Yes. She touches her clitoris is a very sensitive manner

Customer:

She does it for a long time.. Its very embarrassing to us

Customer:

Is it normal or should I show it to a doctor?

Customer:

Hello are u there?


 

earthsister :

I first want to assure you that experimenting with touching oneself in a sexual manner is very normal for a child your daughter's age. The important thing is that she learns what is appropriate with this and what is not. She especially needs to understand that this is not something to be done in public, in front of anyone. She must understand that her body is a very personal thing and is hers and only hers. I wouldn't make a big deal of it to your daughter. I would bring it up to her doctor just to be sure, and get a professional medical opinion, but overall, you daughter is experimenting with the feeling that she gets from this action, and that is normal for a child her age.

Customer:

So is she gaining sexual pleasure with that? Is it similar to an adult women masturbating?

Customer:

I initially thought that's just touching. So u think if she does it in private, that is ok?? K


Will she be feeling psychologically disturbed if she gets an orgasm?

earthsister :

She is most likely enjoying the feeling, but I am sure that she is much too young to associate that feeling with sexual intercourse the same that an adult, or mature young woman who has gone through puberty, and experienced some sexual kinds of experiences. Your daughter is simply enjoying the feeling that occurs from it. Also let your daughter know that she has to be careful with her body, while it is hers, and she is young and experimenting, help her to understand that the area is a very sensitive place, and that doing that so often can possibly cause some pain or discomfort (in words that she can understand of course)

earthsister :

I am not sure that your daughter is old enough to experience an orgasm like that, definitely consult yuour physician regarding that question.

Customer:

I see

earthsister :

Her touching herself in p[rivate is very normal, and really can't be prevented; this is the time when most young children do things like this, in private.

earthsister :

and let's be honest, adults as well

Customer:

If she touches her clitoral area often at this young age, will it be difficult fir her ti cum when she gets older by masturbating?

Customer:

I think masturbation for females is not that common. My wife said she has never done it

Customer:

That's our worry too

earthsister :

Unless your daughter is touching herself in a harsh manner, I do not think that she will affect her ability to enjoy sex as an adult. Again, I am not a health professionbal, so definitely get input fgrom her docxtor on questions of this nature. I do not know the background or culture of your wife, and it may be true that she never masturbated, however I beg to differ. I di brief research, and found that 40% of women do masturbate (and I argue that 40% of women are probably lying if the say they don't)

earthsister :

This is a way for women to experiment with and pleasure themselves, without having to be involved sexually with another. Many women who are cellibut (don't know if I spelled that right) and even virgins use masturbation to keep their sexual urges under control.

Customer:

Hehe. U have a good sense if humour .. Thanx a lot. I'll consult my doctor.

Customer:

So u think it's a possibility that my daughter is having a sexual urge?

Customer:

Btw, as u said I think my wife may be lying. That's till I catch her pleasing herself. Lolz

earthsister :

Overall though, your daughter touching herself at this age is normal. Do talk to her about it, to let her know that this is not something that wants to do all the time (like eating sweats in a way). The urge that she feels is probably more so from the pleasure that she feels. If she hasn't been exposed to sexual images or experiences, I though that she is equating the experience with a sexual act, it's purely the sensation that she enjoys.

Customer:

Yeah I hope so.

earthsister :

I wouldn't necessarily say that your wife is lying. I myself am a woman, and I have 2 sisters and several female friends. I personally am yet to hear them (or any woman for that matter) say that they have NEVER masturbated; that is a new one for me, lol.

Customer:

Reali. I was also surprised. So at what age should I.allow her to do it freely? Around 10th? At what age normally girls start doin that?


 

Customer:

So if your sisters and yourself doin it I think it's natural for yourculture. At wat age do European women start doin it? It's quit interesting to get to know theses facts afterall

Customer:

Ok then . Nice chatting. Ilk see a doc soon..

Customer:

Bye

earthsister and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hey.. Today we further observed her. She is not touching the clitoris directly. around it only. and she does it while doin other things like playin with the doll or other toys.. So i dnt think she exerts any pleasure out of it..


 


BTW, got to knw that my wife lied to me!!


 

Hi,
It seems that much truth was revealed today!lol. Dont hold it against your wife, she only wants to maintain her innocence with you. Speaking with your daughter's doctor as well will probably bring much relief to you. Happy Holidays to you and yours, and I wish you the best!