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My husband and I both discipline but he tends to be more strict and I tend to let them off more (maybe unconciously for the strictness he gives) My husband has been out of work for over a year and we had to live 7 months all in 1 room with my in laws. We are back renting a house but A LOT different from before. It has been a real change for all of us, the boys are 9 and 6 and are totally aware of the lack of money that we have and are not able to do the same things that we used to. Maybe thats another reason I tend to let them slide on some issues because I feel bad for them. The one good thing that has come from all of this is that my husband and I are the closest we have ever been. Not to say that we never argue or disagree of course. The few times that they have spent the night off with friends, I always get raving reviews of their manners and how well they acted. So I know it's us. But i am so frustrated and have started a chore jar for everytime they are disobedient or disrespectful. Also started a 5 minute bedtime penalty too. Not to be used together of course. The boys seem to be totall y different when they are apart from each other. Like 2 totally different people. Calm, helpful, very engaged in conversations with us and most of all OBEDIENT. My 9 year old tells me that he is bored but he has books to read and age appropriate workbooks. We have taken away the DS and Wii as a penalty. They are both seriously involved in baseball but are at the verge of getting that taken away. My husband is the coach and my son is so disrespectful in front of other kids and parents when out of the field that my husband is ready to give it up. The sad part is my 9 year old is REALLY good too.