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empathy-reborn
empathy-reborn, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 11
Experience:  L3 in CCLD. Acted as a SENCo. Voluntary Exp with Young People of all ages
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I have a 16 year old son who is becoming unmanageable. Running

Customer Question

I have a 16 year old son who is becoming unmanageable. Running away, smoking pot, won't obey house rules, being cruel to his younger brother and sister. I am a single mom with joint legal and primary physical. My ex-husband won't take him because he is getting re-married in a few months and doesn't want to deal with the problems. Other than weekly therapy, calling the cops to detail him for a day or so, or an expensive treatment facility (which there is no way I can afford) what other options do I have to help my kid?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  empathy-reborn replied 1 year ago.

empathy-reborn : Maybe you need to find out some information about his career goals and aspirations. You could then do some research with him on what he has to do to achieve this. Then find places that may offer such training and see if he can get a scholarship of find out what he needs to qualify for one. Give him something to push himself towards.
empathy-reborn, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 11
Experience: L3 in CCLD. Acted as a SENCo. Voluntary Exp with Young People of all ages
empathy-reborn and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  empathy-reborn replied 1 year ago.
Hello

How is your son doing is there anything else I can help with.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I put together a 4 column sheet. Column 1 showed very clear house rules he was to obey, 2 showed the consequences (loss of privileges) for breaking those rules, 3 showed a way to earn back his consequences and 4 showed the list of privileges he has ie: computer, tv, friends over, cell phone, etc.). Anyway, I told him if he became unmanageable or violent I would have no option than to call the police. He actually did really well until my ex husband came to pick up our youngest boy who is 12 for visitations . Regan who is 16 and I made the contract for is protected by the court from my ex for child abuse and they have hardly seen eachother or spoke for the last 4 years. Well, Regan was made because he had such strict rules to follow he went out and complained. My ex Thomas told him that if I made him do thing he didn't want to do, especially Therapy he would file an injunction against me in court. Well, now Regan thinks he has all the power now. I told him that that means nothings and that Thomas can file anything he wants. I had to get a letter from my lawyer proving that to show Regan so he would believe me. Now he is better but not as good as he was. He still has Thomas calling and feeling him lies. It's really sick when my ex is trying to hurt me but uses his son as a go between to do it. Do you have any advice with that one?

Expert:  empathy-reborn replied 1 year ago.
What you done with the four column chart is brilliant. The best thing to do now is to make sure you put this in place. When a privilege is lost make sure you stick with the punishment no matter how horrible you may feel through his tantrums you need to make sure you stick with it. Maybe your son needs Cognitive Behavior Therapy, to help him regain back his life he once had.

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