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earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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Wife angy with kids at the slightest pretext

Resolved Question:

I just hate it when my wife vents out her frustration on our kids. A quick fight brews and we are sceaming at eahc other. I have no control over her anger and she chooses to remian so and remain angry with kids and me for days. Talks to her sister on the phone 80% of the time she's awake and shows more care for her nephew than our kids. What should i do to make her mend her ways and make her parenting style a bit more comfortable for the kids? I don'thave any control over her anger or over her dominating nature. Se however ends up threatening me over the kids to get her ways. What can i do to keep her mor commited / calm with the kids? Please don;t tell me "self-contorl" ways, i already continualy try that, need somehitng to excercise a bit of control over her

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.

earthsister :

Hello, I would like to help you today.

earthsister :

One of the most difficult things about relationships, whether a husband, wife, friend, family, colleagues, etc, is that you cannot control the emotions of another; you can however learn what it is that causes certain emotions to arise in others, and adjust how you approach and confront them as a result. Are there particular times where she is more likely to become angry and emotional with you or the kids than other times, or is it random? Also, has she always been this way?

Customer:

I have been through a lot of lot of situations whre i ahe been dominoated over her. Is there a way i can get my way?

earthsister :

I think that your best chance is to try to express to her how you feel, and suggest that the two of you find a good family therapist who can help you through your problems. On www.goodtherapy.org, you can do an advanced search for a therapist in your area to fit your family's particular needs. It sounds as though your wife has been the dominant one for some time, and this is what she is use to. Someone would be lying if they told you there was a way to control or dominate someone such as this. I also am one who thinks that no one should dominate or control a relationship, but both sides should work together and be fair and equal (as much as possible). Counseling, I think is the best option to allow this to happen. Meantime, work not to argue with your wife, when she gets angry, you remain calm, when she yells, you talk soft; You can't fight fire with fire, you must use water. Please let me know if you need any further ideas or resources, or if you have any further questions or comments before applying your rating. My goal is to provide an answer that will be of use to you. Thanks

Customer:

What should i do when she scrrems and uses sarcasm at kids and shoves me off if i try to take the crying and scared child away? If i try to physically intervene she threatens wiht a "dare you touch me" and the next thing i know is she is on her way to threatening me wiht calling the cops. Sounds unbelievable? i couldn't believe it was happneing either, right in front of my todler and pre-schooler. i don;t want to leave her because i believe a broken family is the worst situation parents can get thier children into.

Customer:

sorry for the delay.. had a hard time trying to get things a bit straight

earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience: Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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