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SREED177, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 220
Experience:  I have a Master's In Marriage and Family Therapy, and have been in the field for 4 years.
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I have a thirteen year old daughter in eighth grade who is

Customer Question

I have a thirteen year old daughter in eighth grade who is out of control. She is not listening or doing any of the things that she is asked to do to help out around the house. If she is grounded and not allowed out she waits until she is alone and makes some excuse as to why she went out, or why she can't come home. Like it was thundering, or we lost power, or she is walking to her friends house and I tell her she is grounded and now she can't go back because she didn't bring her key and she is now locked out. I don't know what to do to enforce things when I am not always around, unfortunately I have to work
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  SREED177 replied 3 years ago.
I know it can be hard when you have to work and you cannot always be there to enforce the rules with your daughter. Some of the things that you can consider when she breaks rules is keep her from going to things that she loves to do. When she leaves home you can keep her from going to a party or dance from school at a time when you are home. This way you can tell her that this her consequence for not doing what you asked. Meaning that if you cannot enforce a consequence that day because you are not home, you can always enforce a consequence for her breaking the rules for a time when you are able to supervise her.

Also if you are looking for some additional help, you may want to consider a mentor or like a big brother or big sister program. There are several out there at no cost to you. They can help be there with her for times that you cannot be there and they work with children one on one and see them several times a week to make sure that they are following the rules that you set into place, working with you to make sure that your daughter's behavior improves, and doing positive things and teaching her about obeying you. This may be a good option for you because mentors are often available when you are not and when you are at work and they can assist you in teaching her the important of discipline.
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