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Ask earthsister Your Own Question

earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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My daughter is 22 years old, our only child and she is adopted.

Resolved Question:

My daughter is 22 years old, our only child and she is adopted. Our daugher has ADD and has an anxiety disorder as well. She is not open to taking meds and the problems continue. She is a great kid, of late she seems even very moody, argumentative and uncommunicative. I know she wants to move out but due to her finances she it is just not possible. She has a boyfriend, good kid but either of them really have any real plans on careers and have minimum hourly jobs. We want to help but do not know how. Pls help.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.

earthsister :

Hello, I would like to help with your question today.

earthsister :

Has your daughter seen a therapist for her anxiety?

Customer:

yes, she was prescribed Xanax and Aderall. She takes the Xanax when she has severe anxiety attacks


 

Customer:

the dr was not a therapist but a psychiatrist


 


 

earthsister :

ok, and is she still seeing the psychiatrist?

Customer:

no, we have asked her to schedule another appt but she has not done so

earthsister :

I would recommend giving your daughter that option, of setting an appointment, and making regular visits to her psychiatrist in order for her to remain in your home and continue to receive your support. I would also recommend to her that she really concentrates on getting herself emotionally and financially together before she considers moving in with her boyfriend.

Customer:

We have not used that as an option before, I hate to giver her ultimatum but I know it is coming to this...she is so strong willed I am concerned she will do something irrational and pay for it later but could be the only way she learns how life really works. My husband and I are exhausted.


 

earthsister :

And I do understand you frustration, and how you must feel. Start with approaching your daughter in a loving and supportive way, not so much as an ultimatum, but as though this is something that would be in her best interest, and something that you really want for her. Let her know that in no way are you trying to control her, and that you only want what is best for her. Let her know that you want to help her get to the level of being able to move out on her own, but before she will be truly able to do so, it would be best that she takes some initial steps in assuring that she will have a stable (emotional, physical, and financial) life when she moves on her own.

earthsister :

and pardon the typo, I meant "your frustration"

Customer:

In fairness to her I too am strong willed and have not always delivered information in the best way, mostly due to my frustration. Would family therapy work or should she just go on her own?


 

earthsister :

Getting emotional support is of utmost importance, and she would certainly need to be financially stable. I am not sure whether or not she is in school, or if this is an option, but maybe continuing her education in some way may be a good thing.

earthsister :

I think that family therapy would be a great idea; but it mostly depends on how your daughter would feel about it; let her know that you are willing to attend with her, yet see which way she would prefer.

Customer:

She is attending community college but with her ADD achieving her AA has been very difficult.

Customer:

Is my time up?


 

earthsister :

No, not at all.

earthsister :

Have you looked into, or has your daughter looked into tutoring?

Customer:

I have recommended this to her but over the years she has had so much tutoring that is tired of it...she too is frustrated, and I understand that as well.


 

Customer:

Sorry, but I want to make sure I understand the pricing for this session. Will I be charged $15 only?


 

earthsister :

I am not sure exactly how much your total charge would be, however I do know that if you approve my answer, I will be paid $7.50. I could check into that if you'd like.

Customer:

I will approve your response, you have given me some things to think about but I need to leave now.

earthsister :

I do greatly appreciate that. I do want to provide you with satisfactory service, and an answer that will be of use to you. If you do have any further questions or concerns about this matter, please message for "earthsister," and I will be more than happy to help. Thanks!

Customer:

thank you.

earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience: Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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