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Ask Jen Helant Your Own Question

Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have my bachelors degree in psychology. I worked with children. Since then I have raised and still raising 3 wonderful boys.
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Hi. My girlfriend is struggling to develop ways to get her

Customer Question

Hi. My girlfriend is struggling to develop ways to get her two children ages 7 & 9 to listen to her better and to respect her authority. She tends to be passive / shy about embracing a more dominating / controlling system, insofar as ensuring her children are under control. As a single dad w/ three, I know many methods that work for me, but don't want to come off preachy or as a Mr. Know it all. She claims to want to change but is at a loss a bit to know where to start. Are there any resources you can direct me to that can help her?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 4 years ago.

jenhelant :

Hi,

If you have ideas that have worked for you then I don't see a problem with asking her if she would like to know what worked for you. Tell her how difficult it is to raise children and you know what she is going through then tell her you developed some ideas that have worked for you in the past and you would like to know if she would like some ideas. Let her know that you will be there for her and can help her with a plan if she likes. She may accept your advice, so I would not be worried about asking her. This may be what she is needing right now. If she does not want to hear your ideas then it may be a case of that people tend to not listen to the people closest to them, but rather strangers. This really depends on the person, but that is where I would start if I were you. Please let me know if I can be of further help.

Customer :

Thanks. That is good advice. One other thing please. Can you direct me to "The best resource either online or book form 101" for this aspect of parenting?

jenhelant :

It is my pleasure to help.

There are so many types of parenting for all different ages. The best thing is to check in your local library at various books and read the back as well as a few pages in order to see what works best for you both depending on the types of issues she is having. You can get a good idea with that to see if you think it is worth reading or presenting to her.