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earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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My child is 3 1/2 years old, and just started day care 4 months

Resolved Question:

My child is 3 1/2 years old, and just started day care 4 months ago. He is very smart because he knows all the numbers, colors, shapes... but I'm getting reports from the teachers that he is hitting others for no reason. We have never seen him on that kind of behavior. It only happens at the daycare. The teacher says that when they talk to him about it, he just cries. We keep telling him he has to be nice to others and that the hitting isn't appropiate but now, we are getting reports for every tiny little thing he does at the daycare. I'm concern they are going to ask me to pull him out.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.

earthsister :

Good morning, I would like to assist you today.

earthsister :

Have you had an opportunity to go into the daycare yet and have a face to face meeting with the teacher or providers?

Customer:

yes

earthsister :

Has it been explained to you exactly how this usually takes place? Does he just spontaneously hit people, or is it usually something that leads up to that?

Customer:

they say it is just because


 

earthsister :

Have you asked him why he does it? What is his response to you?

Customer:

he doesn't say. He cries..


 

earthsister :

Does he witness any hitting in his environment? Whether at home, between siblings, on television, etc, that you can think of?

Customer:

he doesn't. We have friends with children and they are not like that, plus he doesn't do it when he is around our friends


 

earthsister :

One more question; I know that you say he is very smart and good with alphabets and numbers, but how is his ability to communicate and understand what is communicated to him in conversation?

Customer:

He does have problems to talk clearly and he doesn't tell me what happen on his days, like telling me stories of what he did. We speak two languages and we think that's whay he doesn't speak that fluent. I say he understands what you tell him otherwise he wouldn't learn other things.

earthsister :

Aggressive behavior at your son's age is very normal in preschool; especially for boys. One of the primary reasons that children may act out aggressively at this age is because of their limited ability to express themselves through verbal communication and otherwise. It is twice as difficult for your son at this time because he is not only growing an learning one language, but he is a dual language speaker; this can make communicating with others, especially those who are not familiar with you as your family and friends very difficult for a young child. This is only my first thought; it can also be possible that there is something that triggers him to respond in that way, such as a very noisy and chaotic environment at school, when he is use to peace and quiet at home; this can make a child act out as well.

Customer:

what would recommend us to do?


 

earthsister :

I think that it would be good to have a conversation with his school about your concerns. Let them know that you are concerned that his stage in learning two languages may be affecting his ability to communicate with his classmates, and that you want to work with them to develop strategies to help your son better communicate with them. Ask the teacher or providers if they can recommend any resources in terms of dual language learners in a preschool setting; it may not be a bad idea to seek out a school where the other children are dual language learners also, or at least the teacher or one of the professionals there are so that they can better relate to your son.

earthsister :

I would also not take looking deeper into your son's mental and physical health to assure that there are no other developmental problems that may cause the behavior. Do speak to his pediatrician at your next visit, so that he or she may be able to give you input from a medical point of view. He or she may also have recommendations about where you can get resources for your son's language development.

Customer:

I'll request a meeting and see what they tell me.

earthsister :

Continue to work with him in regards XXXXX XXXXX ability to communicate and use words and language to express himself. Seek out books and videos that are geared toward his age, and both of the languages that he is learning. There may as well be a tutor that can help him with his language development at this age.

Customer:

Any book or video in particular you can recommend?


 

earthsister :

There are several books for his age (in English) that teach the importance of not hitting: "Hands are not for Hitting; and No Hitting (found at the bottom of this link): http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&keywords=hands%20are%20not%20hitting&page=1&rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Ahands%20are%20not%20hitting

earthsister :

I am not sure what your second language is, but you can google search, or also search on Amazon for books that are geared toward children your son's age in both of the languages that he is learning.

Customer:

Thank you! We'll try that and see what we get

earthsister :

Definitely do: Take this link as well, it's the government's Head Start website, and this link has resources for the families of dual language learners: http://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/hslc/tta-system/cultural-linguistic/Dual%20Language%20Learners

earthsister :

Please let me know if you need any further help with this issue. If you do feel that I have answered the question to your satisfaction, I would appreciate to be rated highly; if you do need more input before you are satisfied with the answer, please let me know before you apply a rating so that I may assist you in the best way possible. Thanks!

Customer:

that would be it. Thank you

earthsister :

You are most certainly welcome. And if you do need any further help, please do not hesitate to message for me, "earthsister." I wish you the best!

earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience: Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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