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Dr. Tiye
Dr. Tiye, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 46
Experience:  As a Clinical Psychologist since 2002, I have conducted family therapy and taught parenting classes.
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I have a 13 year old daughter that is shy and she is having

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I have a 13 year old daughter that is shy and she is having a hard time trying to make friends at school. Last night she was crying saying she has no friends to hang out with, i all most wanted to cry with her. I really don't know what to say to her to help her out. Please help me.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Tiye replied 2 years ago.

Dr. Tiye : Hello, yes when our children are having difficulties we hurt too, but it is so important that we stay positive, because our kids can pick up on our anxiety about their situation. It sounds like she is on the right track by being involved in extracurricular activities, but it sounds like she needs a little more so that she can truly connect with some of her peers so that they can get to know how great she is.
Dr. Tiye : One thing that may be helpful is having a Friday night get together at your house for a few of the girls. This will allow your daughter to socialize on her own turf so that she may be more comfortable.
Dr. Tiye : Another suggestion is to help her expand her social circle in additional areas like church, social clubs, or daughters of some of your friends.
Customer:

but she says she has no friends a dance eather, and i can tell when we go places for dance, i keep telling her to just go up to them and say hi to them and she will not go. so what other thing you i should put her in


 

Dr. Tiye : Another tip that may help is making ways for her to reconnect with good friends from the past, whether they're from old schools or neighborhoods. This may also help her remember that she had been good at making friends in the past and these relationships can live on.
Dr. Tiye : Are there any church youth groups or community social groups in your town. Have you considered the Girl Scout Cadets ?
Dr. Tiye : What do you think about having a few of the girls over or inviting them out for pizza?
Dr. Tiye : If she can identify a few of them that she thinks are nice, she may feel more comfortable letting them get to know her away from the larger group.
Dr. Tiye : Do you feel that her shyness is severe enough to warrant therapy?
Customer:

she had one, but when they were not in the same class, her friend just quit talking to her, and when i ask about her, she said some one told me she called me a loser and a baby. i told i don't under stad why she called you that when you helped her out when her parents slit up. I know kids can be mean. but man they were friends since grade 2 when she moved to that school


 

Dr. Tiye : It is really hard being a 13 year old and kids can be really cruel, however she has to know that giving up is not an option. What did you think about my suggestions?
Customer:

they were excellent, should i talk to her teacher about this.

Dr. Tiye : Do you have friends with girls her age, is there a Girl Scout troop, are there any youth groups? She sounds very talented anyone from art or band interesting to her?
Customer:

no i don't there is ayouth group she i send her there

Dr. Tiye : I wouldn't speak to the teacher just yet, unless she is being verbally or physically bullied but I would reach out to her old friends mom and possibly invite them out to do a girls day.
Dr. Tiye : Sometimes new friends get in the way of old friendships and they may just need some time together.
Customer:

ok i will do that, i should have a halloween party maybe that will help.... thank you so much for helping me out i have been thinking about this all last night and today. that is true

Dr. Tiye : Ad hard as it is, she's going to have to find a way to figure out this social stuff because healthy relationships is such an important part of high school and adult life. You should continue to be supportive and empathetic but encourage her to continue to take risks in meeting new people.
Dr. Tiye : Positive youth groups are important to join and the more opportunities that she has to make friends, the better.
Customer:

ok, thank you so much for your help.......

Dr. Tiye : You're welcome and I think the party is an excellent idea but be sure to let her help plan it so that she can gain more confidence.
Customer:

i will thanks again.....

Customer:

bye

Dr. Tiye, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 46
Experience: As a Clinical Psychologist since 2002, I have conducted family therapy and taught parenting classes.
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Dr. Tiye
Dr. Tiye
Clinical Psychologist
5 Satisfied Customers
As a Clinical Psychologist since 2002, I have conducted family therapy and taught parenting classes.