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earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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My daughter will not sleep alone. She grew up co-sleeping and

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My daughter will not sleep alone. She grew up co-sleeping and then moved to her own room where we laid down with her until she fell asleep. now she is about to turn 4 and we are having problems. we read her stories every night and then sit in a chair until she falls asleep because she freaks out if we try to leave and then no one gets sleep. when she wake up in the middle of the night and realizes no one is there, she cries until someone comes to put her back to bed. this happens every single night. looking for a way to get her to sleep on her own. we tried moving the chair closer to the door and then eventually leave but it is not working. she will not stay in her bed and we are at our wits end. physical punishment is not an option.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.

earthsister :

Good afternoon, I would like to assist you today.

earthsister :

I see that you have already attempted one of the most recommended options; which I have tried and has proven to work for my twins. I do question whether you followed these steps: Sleep on a mat in her room with her for a few nights (for the whole night); next few nights, sit in a chair close to her bed; next few nights, move the chair farther away, closer to the door; after this, move to the hallway, follow this process until you are eventually back in your room and she is sleeping in her own. This does not have to be looked at as a bribe; in fact, I recommend letting her know what you are going to do each night, letting her know that this is to help her adjust to sleeping in her own bed like big girls do. Read books to her that encourage her to sleep on her own, here's a good one: http://www.amazon.com/Time-Sleep-Transition-Times-Series/dp/1572245867 and there are plenty more available through an Amazon search: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=bedtime

earthsister :

Overall, be patient and consistent. Encourage your daughter to be a big girl, and continue to offer rewards for her progress. I certainly agree that punishment is far from necessary. Di your best to make bedtime fun; allow her to set up a tent, or a picnic with her animals at bedtime. Be creative in your methods for encouraging her to sleep on her own. If you do need any other ideas, please message for "earthsister." My goal is to provide you with useful service.

Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Appreciate your answers. Those are all things that we have tried. we have let her bring toys to her bed, make it a fort, even let her the dog sleep in her room. she is not having any of it. she throws the biggest fits. once she falls asleep we leave. the chair is right by the door. but she wakes up several times a night and freaks out. she is almost 4 and I think she if a big enough girl to sleep by herself but she says she is not ready.


 

Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.
I do understand that this can be quite frustrating. You did say that you leave when she falls asleep; have you ever tried staying with her the entire night for a few nights, and then moving to the chair (staying there the entire night); and after some time try leaving after she falls asleep? I know this seems tedious and as if it won't work, but this process takes consistency and use of the method correctly. If you leave and she wakes in the middle of the night, she most certainly will be upset; however if you slowly withdraw yourself after 1st staying the entire night, then moving farther away and staying the entire night; to finally leaving your chair (which should by this time have moved to the hallway) after she sleeps after a week or two of the other methods, this may help. If it seems that all else is failing, and that nothing will work, I do recommend that you speak to your daughter's pediatrician about the issue, as he or she may be able to suggest a good child therapist who sees these kind of sleep issues with children your daughter's age often, and can help your daughter gain the confidence to sleep at night on her won. www.goodtherapy.org; is a website that can be used alternatively to search for a child therapist that may be able to assist you. I do hope that you can use some of this information. If you have any other questions, or need other resources, please let me know.
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience: Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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