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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have my bachelors degree in psychology. I worked with children. Since then I have raised and still raising 3 wonderful boys.
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have a 5 year old nephew who is not a team player (poor sport)

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have a 5 year old nephew who is not a team player (poor sport) - recently, he was having a great time playing with a 4 year old boy and out of the blue just stops, sits down and crosses his arms -- says he doesn't want to play anymore, but doesn't want to leave...yesterday he got off school bus, threw is back pack at the dog and ran into the street...he's an only child - help

I would like to help...

Is this a new behavior or has this been going on for a while?
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

it's been going on for a while - his mom was battling cancer a year ago so he was passed around a little to a few of us who are close (compare notes) & we're all athletic so he got lots of exercise and attention - but he's a poor loser


I am so sorry to hear about his mom. That can definitely either start this behavior or if he already has these tendencies make it even worse.

It is good that you keep him active. Every child has different personalities and some can really be sore losers. He may grow out of this.

It seems like you are doing the right things with the discipline, giving him attention, and trying to see what his needs are as well as redirecting his attention. These are all very good things and that I would recommend.

Consistency is really the key. Sometimes when we have children who behave this way it is easy to get used to the behavior and let it go, but it is extremely important to stay on top of things. Do not let any type of disrespectful behavior slide. Make sure he gets either a time out or some privilege taken away as well as an explanation of why what he did was wrong and how he can learn to do the right thing. This is crucial with him learning and behaving.

When he loses try explaining to him that it is okay to lose. Everyone will lose at some point because not one person can win at everything every single time. The point is having fun. It may be difficult for him to understand because he is so young and he may have that type of personality that wants to be the best at everything.

However, if you be consistent with the discipline as well as the teaching and explaining then it will improve. It may not happen over night, but in time you will see the changes.

I hope this was helpful and please let me know if I can help an further.
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