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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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This question is for an expert in adult children with various

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This question is for an expert in adult children with various disabilities.
I am mid fifties and take care of two pretty-high functioning adult adult autistic child and another adult Aspberger's child. They both get some disability and I can afford to buy them a small house. I've got to get them on their own somehow, as I won't be around forever, but still watch over them. They can't hold down jobs but they can shop, cook, clean house, and the Aspberger one I can teach to pay bills, the Aspberger can watch out for more involved one. The Aspberger is above average IQ, he just can't get off his computer software design "scheme" and get real with a job. I have to set them up somewhere, but I don't know WHERE.
My choices are small town small house walkable downtown area 3 hours from me...or
remote woodsy must drive to small town 4 hours from me ... or
back in my basement

They could iron out the glitches of living alone/'s almost good they need eachother, otherwised I'd be forced to get all outside caregivers. Should I make this transition for them?
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,
Yes you should make this transition for them BUT
Your first two options are too far away and your basement is too close. Isn't there something in between? If not, you should elicit the help of your state or county government services. Boys should be provided with a case manager who is close by to ease them into the transition. They need someone who is close by to be available quickly in case of trouble. Both of them would also benefit from Division of Vocational Rehabilitation to help them find jobs. Getting agencies involved will ensure that they have support when you are not around. If you are unsure about how to access these services, let me know your county, city and state and I will find links for you.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Good advice, because we're stuck, because I'm a widow and it's hard for me to part ways, but I know I have to, and it's already late. Due to investment reasons/that it's a college town for yet another child, and that I don't want to live there, the closest I could be is 3.5 hours away.


I know it is difficult especially considering their special needs. Be sure to get the help of the agencies they are entitled to and this will ease your mind. Warm Regards.
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