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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience:  I have my bachelors degree in psychology. I worked with children. Since then I have raised and still raising 3 wonderful boys.
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Hi. We are confronted with the following situation in our family:

Resolved Question:

Hi. We are confronted with the following situation in our family: Mother A and mother B have their sons, a and b in the same class at a private school. The mothers are in an amicable relationship and the boys go on play dates from time to time. They are both 8 years old. Mother B drives a and b to school every day. The boy b is showing lately some signs of aggressive behavior which mother B seems to ignore. In the latest incident, "b" threw "a" to the ground and "a" needed to go to the emergency room the next day due to an infection following the incident. Mother A suspects that "a" gets bullied sometimes because he never reacts, he is studious, serious and has different preoccupations than the other kids. Mother A did not tell B about the incident but "a" will tell "b" about the consequences of this incident.
I have two questions related to each other:
1. how can A support her son "a" to stand up or discourage other boys from bullying him
2. is there any way to communicate the situation to mother B without her getting offended?
Thank you,



Optional Information:
Country relating to Question: United States
State (if USA): Maryland
What have you tried so far?: Would maybe a dog help "a" to be more confident? A dog as the unconditional friend?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.
I am not sure if a dog will help. However, if possible getting boy a into some type of children self defense would help raise his confidence level. In addition to this boy's a mom can talk with him about what to do in a bully situation as well as when to fight back, such as in self defense. I think that mom a should tell mom b about what her child did to boy a. It is not wrong. I understand that some people feel bad to relay this information as well as do not know how. However, think of it this way if mom a does not tell mom b what is going on and what her son did then that could lead to more problems in the future. For example if she knows now she may be able to correct her son and prevent him doing this again to someone else where the parents may even press charges. Therefore telling will help them. Now if she is told and does nothing then at least mom a did her part in doing the right thing. The best way to tell her is in a nice calm way. It would be more of an informing way for the best of them and not in a fighting upset defending her son kind of way. The later way will just cause a fight whereas the first way to relay the message is just relaying the message in order to help as a caring person. I think that would be a good way to go about this.
Jen Helant, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience: I have my bachelors degree in psychology. I worked with children. Since then I have raised and still raising 3 wonderful boys.
Jen Helant and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 2 years ago.
I noticed that you have not rated my answer yet. If you plan on rating me anything less than positive then please let me know, so I can help you further. We can work together until you are satisfied.

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