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earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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Hi I am Mr. Marudhavanan, 45, an Indian Citizen and a permanent

Customer Question

Hi I am Mr. Marudhavanan, 45, an Indian Citizen and a permanent resident of Australia.
I live alone in Papua new guinea for the sake of my employment and my wife and two sons
(aged 14 & 9) live in Sydney. I visit them once in a month.

Of late I have been thinking to join my family for ever in view of the fact that my elder son is entering in to the teen age and so to guide him properly in his life path..

This would be at the expense of loosing my lucrative job in PNG! Please advise whether my decision is correct?

regards/marudhavanan
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.

earthsister :

Good evening, I would like to assist you today.

Customer:

Hi Good day! it's a morning for me here! :)


 

earthsister :

I can certainly understand your concerns, first of being there for your son, and second of maintaining your lucrative job.

Customer:

Yea, its a kind of a cross road situation


 

Customer:

and another thing which I did not mention


 

Customer:

is my aged/ailing parents back home in India


 

Customer:

they want me to return to India


 

Customer:

but at this stage I feel my sons can not cope up with the indian education system which is very demanding


 

Customer:

my wife is adamant that the kids have to study here in Australia


 

earthsister :

I understand.

earthsister :

I do think, however, that another lucrative job can and will come along at some poit and time, however another opportunity to be there for your son at this time will not.

Customer:

as she dont want them to get pressurized in the demanding and highly competitive environment


 

earthsister :

pardon the typo, I meant "at some point"

Customer:

thats fine understood


 

earthsister :

I can definitely understand your wife's concerns as well.

Customer:

I have obtained the Aust PR after spending a hell a lot of money and efforts


 

Customer:

my wife and kids of late have been telling me to join them forever


 

Customer:

for ever


 

Customer:

which I am seriously thinking of


 

Customer:

so your advise please


 

earthsister :

Would it be too much for your parents to come to Australia as well, or for you to visit them, say, every month, or other month?

Customer:

that also they dont agree as they say they may not like the lifestyle there


 

Customer:

and in addition they dont want trouble us too as they have a lot of medical ailments like


 

Customer:

blood pressure, arthritis etc...


 

earthsister :

I understand.

Customer:

so i am in a bit of confused state now


 

earthsister :

I definitely recommend that you consider joining your wife and children. It must be tough on her to raise two boys on her own, without you there, and as you mentioned, the eldest could really use the guidance of a man (specifically you) as he nears adulthood himself. Don't worry about the job, family comes first, you will get another good job, but never a chance to be there again for your sons.

Customer:

which my wife also says


 

Customer:

yea, I fully agree


 

earthsister :

Stay in close contact with your parents in India, and visit them as often as possible. Maybe it can be arranged for them to have a caregiver of some kind in India to help look after them, and keep you updated on there well-being.

Customer:

ok


 

Customer:

environment?


 

Customer:

and do you think its possible for us to teach and preach the indian values to the boys still, though they are growing in a westernised


 

earthsister :

I think that if the Indian cultures and values are practiced by you and your wife daily in your home environment, and as naturally as possible, yes they can learn and hold these values near and dear.

Customer:

ok sounds great!


 

Customer:

thanks sister for your valuable advise


 

Customer:

you have anything else to advise me?


 

earthsister :

It would definitely help, if it has not been done already, to find a community of Indians in Australia, and form friendships and relationships this way.

earthsister :

This should be good for the boys to be among other children who have a similar way of life as themselves.

earthsister :

You are most certainly welcome Dear Brother!

Customer:

that I think is not a problem as we have decided to move into Melbourne by Nov this year


 

Customer:

where we have some handful friends


 

Customer:

the only concern is of me winning a job


 

Customer:

which I guess I can over come!


 

earthsister :

Most definitely, I think that if you keep the focus on being there for your family, to support and guide them, all of the other needs will fall into place (with your dedicated effort, of course).

Customer:

yes, that's for sure!


 

Customer:

Thanks again sister and wish all the very best!


 

earthsister :

I commend you for being there for your family; it takes a true man to recognize what is needed for his family, and I see that you do.

Customer:

yes, money can't buy relationships and affection!


 

earthsister :

That is right!, and you are welcome again, and all the best to you and yours as well! If you do need any further insight on this issue, please do not hesitate to message for me, "earthsister." Thank you!

Customer:

cheers XXXXX XXXXX


 

Customer:

Thanks and I will.


 

Customer:

Maru.


 

earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience: Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
earthsister and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.
Hi


I'm just following up with you to see how everything is going. Did my answer help?


Let me know,
earthsister
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Hi Earthsister,


 


How are you? Glad to inform you that I have joined my family in Australia after quitting my `lucarative' job in PNG. We live in Melbourne now and
it's a month since I joined my family and my wife and two sons are extremely happy with my decision and presence. I just appeared for


my CPA exam couple of days ago and will start the job hunt from next week onwards.


 


Thanks very much for your valuable advise which did play a major role in my decision.


 


Kind regards,


 


Maru

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