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Ask earthsister Your Own Question

earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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I still think I should give it time, at least a month, to see

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I still think I should give it time, at least a month, to see if my daughter calls or emails. I don't want to give her an obligation to write. I want her to contact me because she wants to.
For the past few days, I have received calls from creditors trying to reach my daughter. I just tell them she doesn't live here any more. Should I mention to my daughter about these calls? She has such poor credit. I would like to offer solutions to help her get out of debt but she may take offense or think I'm trying to be controlling.
I feel I just don't how to be a mom to my adult daughter. She's very independent which I'm happy about. She is in a job which pays a lot less than $30,000. I think that's why she's living with someone. When you try to get an apartment, they always check your credit rating. At this rate, she will never totally be on her own. It's so frustrating.

earthsister :

Good morning, I would like to assist you today.

earthsister :

I think that you do care about your daughter's well being, although you may feel hurt that she is not contacting you, and it may seem as though she would take offense to you trying to help her. I definitely say reach out to her in some way, and make her aware of the creditors that have been calling. Although you do not want to be the one to reach out to her first, this may be a good way to establish your bond with her. Let your daughter know that you don't want to pry in her life, but that you do care about her well-being, and that you want to help if she will let you. If she says no, at least you can feel confident as a parent that you did not let your daughter down, and offered what you could.

earthsister :

And one more thing I would like to add, do feel confident in your parenting abilities. You have raised your daughter to be the independent woman that she is today, and no manual came with her on how to do that. It is the same with parenting an adult, you will learn from some trial and error; but as long as you stay actively willing to learn and be there for your daughter when she needs you, the two of you should be just fine. Do reach out to your daughter, generally, just as when our children are young, it takes us teaching through leading by example; set the example of love and good communication by contacting her about the business matters, and broadening the conversation to how you want to help her and keep your communication open with one another. If you do have any other questions, or need more in depth input, please do not hesitate to message for me, "earthsister." Thanks.

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