How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Bonnie Your Own Question

Bonnie
Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2173
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Bonnie is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

my son is 18months old and he has been hitting and pulling

Resolved Question:

my son is 18months old and he has been hitting and pulling hair for about 2 months now. We tried removing him from the room or explaining why not to do this to him but it is getting worse. I can't even take him to play group as he makes all the other children cry?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 1 year ago.
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,

At 18 months, a child will not understand reasoning but does understand firm voice. You are doing the right thing by removing him from the room and saying "no hitting or no pulling hair" in a stern voice. Then, distract him with something else to prevent him from going right back to the hitting behavior. The distraction can be a favorite toy or activity. It may feel like you are rewarding bad behavior but at his age the initial, stern "NO" is the consequence and distraction is required because time out and reasoning are not yet possible. After the "removal and distraction/prevention phase of discipline (infancy to 2 1/2 years), time-outs can be used.

Many 18 month old children become aggressive due to communication frustration. They are unable to verbalize what they are thinking and this is frustrating...especially for developmentally advanced children. This aggressive behavior improves once they are able to communicate better.

I hope this helps...warm regards,
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

He has also this week starting biting, do we apply the same stern voice and removal technique for this?


Any time i leave for work he will smack me in the face, he also does he same thing to my mother when she leaves? Is there a reason for this also?

Expert:  Bonnie replied 1 year ago.
Yes, same thing....pick him up, stern voice "no biting" and remove and distract. It may be his way of saying "I don't want you to leave." Again, he is unable to verbalize these feelings and so acting out is his only form of communication.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

He is also very quick once he smacks you to give you a kiss. Does this mean he knows his behaviour is wrong or is it just a habit?


 


Sorry i am just thinking of other things as we are talking!


He also seems to not like other babies, he will even hit them when they come on TV?

Expert:  Bonnie replied 1 year ago.
The common thread in all your examples is "What is the behavior communicating". With the aggression towards other babies, it is "Are you a threat to me? Will you take my things or my parents attention?"

I think the kiss means "I'm sorry" which indicates that your natural reaction to hitting has already taught him that it is wrong.
Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2173
Experience: and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
Bonnie and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered