How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask earthsister Your Own Question

earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
earthsister is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 7 year old boy has been getting increasingly more challenging

Customer Question

My 7 year old boy has been getting increasingly more challenging and disrespectful. But today he took it to a whole new level and after his granparents, who had taken him to cinema and basically filled his day with lovely things, they asked him to come and have tea and stop building his den and he got really aggressive and then said he wanted to kill them and wanted them to die, and apparantly went to the cutlery drawer and pointed knives at them!! As you can imagine I am horrified and very concerned as to why he would behave in this way and what to do!! We feel very out of control at the moment and would very much appreciate some advice.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.

earthsister :

Good evening, I would like to work to assist you today.

earthsister :

I can most certainly understand your worry and concern at the moment. My first suggestion would be that you take your child to his pediatrician, and mention this behavior to him or her. In this way, the pediatrician can examine your son to diagnose any possible health concerns that may be prompting your son's aggressive behavior, and he or she should also be able to recommend a goo child therapist that specializes in helping children and their families learn control aggressive thoughts and behavior. I also encourage you to continue to have conversations with your son (and include his grandparents as well) on the proper ways to express his anger, and explain to him that killing someone is forever, and that there is no coming back from death, explain to him that you and his grandparents love him very much, and would never think of hurting him in any way, and want for him to love and never hurt you all either. Suggest to his grandparents that they explain to him how they were very hurt when he threatened to kill them, and grabbed the knives. They should tell him that all they want is for him to be happy, and that is why they spend time with him, take him to the movies, etc. Let him know that if he ever feels unhappy or angry, that rather than hurting or being mean to someone, he should come to you and talk about his anger so that you can help him get rid of the anger and be happy again.

earthsister :

Also, be aware of the things that may be influencing him to think and act in such aggressive ways; television, video games, friends or other outside influences. Be sure to monitor your son's daily interactions and activities so that you can pin point where he is learning this aggression from. Also be aware of your own emotions, and the things that you say or do around him, as children his age are very impressionable, and are developing mentally and emotionally at a rapid rate. Continue to encourage his positive behavior and reward him for that; and within reason, time-outs, helping you with chores, taking away special privileges until behavior improves. Also, employing reading about controlling anger may be good for him. Here is one book, "Angry Octopus" and "When I Feel Angry" that may serve as tools to help your son with his aggression: http://www.amazon.com/Angry-Octopus-Relaxation-Lori-Lite/dp/0978778170/ref=pd_sim_b_23

earthsister :

http://www.amazon.com/When-Feel-Angry-Way-Books/dp/0807588970/ref=pd_sim_b_17

earthsister :

Most importantly, do your best to remain calm, but dedicated to helping your son at this time. Along with seeing your son's pediatrician, and any therapist suggestions that he or she may have, Goodtherapy.org allows you to search by zip code and do an advanced search for a therapist that best suites your family's needs: http://www.goodtherapy.org/; Do give this website a try if nothing else is working. If you need any different ideas or insight, or if you have any questions or comments about my answer, please message for me, "earthsister", and I will be more than happy continue assisting you.

earthsister :

And pardon the typo, that is: "more than happy to continue assisting you." Thanks.

Expert:  earthsister replied 1 year ago.
Our chat has ended, but you can still continue to ask me questions here until you are satisfied with your answer. Come back to this page to view our conversation and any other new information.

What happens now?

If you haven’t already done so, please rate your answer above. Or, you can reply to me using the box below.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JA/JACUSTOMERbryjz898/2012-5-23_93829_me2.64x64.jpg Adviser Mills C.C.D.'s Avatar

    Adviser Mills C.C.D.

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    15
    15 years Plus, Preschool Owner, Teen Mentor