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Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question

Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3038
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Customer Question

I have a 7 year old daughter who told me that on a play date with a new friend the friend kissed her on the lips. She also told me another one of her friends did this in kindergarten. They are both in her class. Another one of her friends moms told me she was lifting her skort and touching herself on the outside of her clothes in her private part while next to her friend in the back of their car. I have caught her trying to kiss her best friend on the lips. Her best friend yells, No! What am I doing wrong? What should I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know about your situation and how worried you feel about it.


 

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This scenario is not abnormal at all and very common. It is base don your child's normal sexual development, leading to explore herself, feel curiosity about other children's bodies.


 

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Children learn behaviors from multiple sources, whether directly or indirectly, mostly from media and peers.


 

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What the situation requires from you and your spouse iis to work on providing adequate sexual education for her to learn about herself, her sexuality and healthy and acceptable ways to share with other children and what is some


thing exclusively to explore by herself in private.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This situation issues to be shocking for parents who have not had this experience before, but


again, it is part of normal development in children and with adequate support, education, affection, discipline and modeling there should not be any issue.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?


 

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

A book like "It's so amazing!: a book about eggs, sperm, birth, and families". could be a very good guide for you and your child to work on this process, ma


king of this incidents, the very best chances tof her healthy and fulfilling development and grow as a healthy child and human being.

Customer :

Ok, but what do I say to her? I told her that it is not appropriate to kiss on the lips with anyone, is that the right thing to say...help me out here


 

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely.


 

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You and your husband need to teach your child which behaviors are fine and which are unacceptable, which are fine when she is by herself in private and which should ne


ver happen around other people, what behaviors are OK for children and which are exclusive between adults.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What was her response, and did s


he say why she is doing these behaviors and where she learned them from?

Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.
Our chat has ended, but you can still continue to ask me questions here until you are satisfied with your answer. Come back to this page to view our conversation and any other new information.

What happens now?

If you haven’t already done so, please rate your answer above. Or, you can reply to me using the box below.
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.

You and your husband need to teach your child which behaviors are fine and which are unacceptable, which are fine when she is by herself in private and which should ne


ver happen around other people, what behaviors are OK for children and which are exclusive between adults.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What was her response, and did s


he say why she is doing these behaviors and where she learned them from?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

It took too long to get the answer, by the time anything came back I was able to find another resource. I thought I would be able to get information immediately but I spent the whole day in a panic until I got in touch with my friend who offered me the best advise. I am sorry but this did not meet my needs.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

It is too late, as I already said, I had to go to someone else. So I did not get what I needed from you. I needed to know more timely and the time has past therefore we are done.

Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.
I am glad you got the support you needed. Sadly technical problems with the site and its chart interface create scenarios like this. I did immediately reply to your question, and as an expert I cannot control how the chat or posting feature of the site work. Hope everything gets fine with your daughter.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I already told you my answer was time sensitive, you did not get back in time. Do not email me again.

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