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Ask earthsister Your Own Question

earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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My just turned four year old son is intensely emotional. He

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My just turned four year old son is intensely emotional. He is extremely sensitive, both to emotions and to the environment. He is home for the summer, otherwise he attends a wonderful full time preschool. When at home or when he goes on an outing with just me and his dad, he is generally a joy to be around. He plays quietly with toys at home or is helpful at the store. He picks me flowers and tells me how much he loves me. The problem is when we are around other children, at preschool but especially at home. He has huge issues with transitions and sharing any toy. He is so intense that he shrieks and screams and if you try to talk to him to yells and screams some more. When calm I can talk with him about how to interact appropriately with other children and he has all the right responses. We discuss what to do when he gets upset(deep breathing, go have a quiet time in his room, hug his stuffy) but faced with dealing with other children, he still ends up screaming and crying. Yesterday before the child arrived I had him put away his favourite toys. It still did not help. He goes back to preschool in a couple of weeks. Help!

earthsister :

Good morning, I would like to assist you today.

Customer:

ok


 


 

earthsister :

I understand that you are concerned with both your son's ability to share and deal with other children emotionally. How long has he been behaving this way?

Customer:

he has always been very emotional/intense but it has got worse in the past year.

earthsister :

I understand. And is this something that you have brought to the attention of his pediatrician (his emotions)?

Customer:

no, where i live you must be referred to a pediatrician. he has a family doctor with whom i have not discussed this.

earthsister :

I think that it would be a good idea to mention this to the family doctor; and work to get a referral from a pediatrician who can look further into your son's emotional responses, to ensure their are no other health or psychological causes for his behavior.

Customer:

good idea

earthsister :

Otherwise, especially if he is an only child, children his age very often have these issues with learning to share with others. And it can be very stressful on us as parents.

Customer:

yes he is an only child

earthsister :

So he shares well with adults, but children is the problem?

Customer:

not always with adults but is better. his reactions are very intense.

earthsister :

And outside of school, about how often is he around other children? As well as how often is he around other people (outside of his immediate family)?

Customer:

school is every weekday, all day. he usually has swim lessons twice a week (no problem) and then he might see his cousins or we might go to a friend's house on the weekend.

earthsister :

It sounds like (from your description of what you have already tried) that you are on the right track with how to teach him to share. Continue to practice with him at home on sharing. Sit with him, playing with toys, and take turns playing with one toy, and then hand him your toy and ask for his. Keep talking with him about the importance of sharing, and continue preparing him in advance when he will be around others, explaining to him that he will have to share, and even encourage him doing so by offering a reward for sharing.

Customer:

yes we have been doing those things and will continue.

earthsister :

Have a close friend or family member who also has a child his age to work with you when they can Practice bringing the two together in play; and you and your friend interact in the play as well.

Customer:

good idea

earthsister :

Use this time to direct the sharing behavior. Work to implement games that involve sharing. Try to make sharing as fun and rewarding as possible for him.

Customer:

yes will do

earthsister :

Here's a website that has some good ideas for toddler sharing games:http://www.clever-toddler-activities.com/sharing-games.html

earthsister :

Give some of these as try, and see if you have success.

Customer:

thank you

earthsister :

No problem. Otherwise, continue to do what you have been doing, you're doing a great job (just keep at it). And get that pediatrician referral when you can. It never hurts to be safe when dealing with the health of your child; just to be sure.

Customer:

thank you

earthsister :

You are most welcome. If you do need any further ideas or insight on this issue, please message for me before you provide a rating, as my goal is to provide excellent service.

Customer:

will do

earthsister :

Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX wish you and your family all the best.

Customer:

thank you for your help

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earthsister