Good morning. I am so sorry to hear you and your family are going through this together. There are, honestly, many things that could be happening with your grandson, and clarity might come with age and counseling. Let's try to get to the bottom of it, though, shall we? Can you provide me with a little further information about his preschool years? Did he adapt easily from home to preschool care or struggle? Is he an only child, or does he have siblings? Have there been any major life changes recently (other than going into kindergarten--that's a biggie!)--a move, divorce, death in the family, new addition to the family, death of a pet, etc. Has a sibling or family member ever been diagnosed with an attention disorder? (It's a little early to identify/diagnose such, but children do start to exhibit symptoms around this time, and the aware family member will pick up on those little changes.)
Thanks for providing a little more information for me, and as soon as I have that I'll be able to provide a more complete response for you. I look forward to continuing our discussion when you are back online. :)
Nothing major. His mother is expecting another baby in November. Did well in Pre_K except for a couple temper episodes. No history of ADD in family. Mother just quit work to stay at home with children. He has gotten to where he wants to stay with his mother all the time. He always would call us and want to come to our home.
Hello, again--thank you for the additional information. Some of this may be due to the coming baby. Your grandson sees the changes that this situation is going to create--everyone around him, for example is getting excited, perhaps shifting their focus a little bit--and it is affecting him. One of the ways that it affects him is that he feels powerless to control his environment. 5 and 6 year-olds are trying very hard to become independent and exert control over their world, as it is.
This really becomes evident when he tries to do something, and struggles. It's one more area where he's powerless, if that makes sense.
When he finds he's unable to succeed in doing something, he lashes out into the tantrum you describe--which isn't the best way of reacting, and is a little on the extreme end of the spectrum. This suggests that he's having a really difficult time managing his emotions, overall, and is unleashing them in anger and frustration when he's upset over not being able to control something.
My recommendations would be to have his parents sit down with him and talk to him about his feelings about the baby coming. He may likely be unresponsive to them, so it may even be better for you, his grandfather, to talk to him. Some creative ways of having kids open up about their emotions are to have them draw a picture about the situation, and then talk to you about what's going on in that picture, or to role play the situation. (You could do with this with grandson playing mommy, a doll being the baby, and you being the brother).
Once you have done this, you can help him connect his feelings to his behaviors. "How does this make you feel?" "What do you do when you feel like this?" "Is that the best way to handle that?" "What might be a better way?"
This is, essentially, counseling.
You are helping him understanding his feelings, cope with them, and find better ways of dealing with them.
It's not likely to be a quick fix, simply because the things that bring children to emotional and behavioral points such as these don't just disappear. Your influence (and helping his mother be the same influence) of reminding him "okay, I know you're upset...what's a better way to deal with this?" will be constant for a while, until it becomes second nature for your grandson to think on his own.
Some CREATIVE discipline that often works is a mixture of incentive and discipline.
It never hurts, if you're up for it, to see a professional counselor just to rule out serious issues such as oppositional defiance disorder, ADD, etc, if the symptoms seem to escalate or simply do not go away.
I hope this information helps. I see you rated my service as poor earlier, and I hope that was simply because I had not fully answered your question yet--I was just waiting on the remaining information in order to do so. If there is anything at all else I can provide to assist you, please let me know. My goal with all of my clients is to make certain they are 100% satisfied. If you have any other questions, I'm still here...just keep replying and I'll receive the message.
This answer is more beneficial....I want to say your rate should not be poor...It should be excellent!!!!!! Thanks so much for your help
Thank you; I am happy to hear that! If there's anything else I can do for you, please let me know. Have a great day, sir!