How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1744
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
64783947
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Coach Jen K. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a son who is 6. his mother is the custodial parent.

Resolved Question:

I have a son who is 6. his mother is the custodial parent. we have a court agreement for me to see him every other weekend. my girlfriend wants no part of him and refuses to see me unless i limit my visits to every sun. from 12 to 6. i believe in quality v.s. quantity, but in this case i think a son needs his father as much as possible, to instill the right morals and values in him. my girlfriend thinks i am fighting a losing battle, and that i am only in store for future dissapointment.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families. I am also a mom of Twins.

CoachJenK :

does your girlfriend have children?


 

CoachJenK :

Are you here with me?


 

Customer:

she has 2 children. one is 21 and one is 15. her father hasnt communicated with her since she was 18. her mother committed suicide when she was 16, she divorced her husband when her son was 3. and he died shortly thereafter due to alcohol related issues. she has brought up her children by herself and it is completely understandable she doesnt want to do it again. i expressed to her that i expect no involement from her in bringing up my child and that we could consider every other weekend a break from each other. most of the problem lies with the deep rooted anger my girlfriend has towards my sons mother. she has not one ounce of respect for her as a mother!

CoachJenK :

Ok, I hear all that you are saying about her past and her lack of respect for your ex, but this is about respecting you, your relationship with your son and doing whatever she can to cultivate that.


 

CoachJenK :

I don't hear much of that from her and that troubles me. I hear you, a loving father wanting to do right by your son and love him and I would not change one thing about your time with him.

Customer:

apparently i dont see that happening. she seems to be a control freak. i have stopped responding to her about a week ago and she will not stop texting me. i am looking to spend as much time as i possibly can as i love him more than life itself.

CoachJenK :

exactly. i am with you on this one....her damage from her past is not yours so keep doing as you are.


 

CoachJenK :

As a mom herself I am truly bothered that she cannot support what you are doing.

CoachJenK :

your son is lucky to have you and dont let anyone try and come between that relationship.

CoachJenK :

You are a great Dad!!!!


 

Customer:

i regards XXXXX XXXXX son, do you have any suggestions on fun things to do in and around the house? i dont want to play wii all the time, and would like to challenge hime. he is so handsome i am worried about someone snatching him up so i started teaching him mixed martial arts, only to be used with daddy or if someone tries to hurt or take him away. of course i taught him to scream for help at the top of his lungs first. but the mma only lasts so long. what do i do with the other 23 or so hours

CoachJenK :

sure. well you can get out of the house more...play some sports outdoors, indoor playgrounds, outdoor play grounds, fishing. Reading, doing art projects like painting.

CoachJenK :

house projects with Dad..diging in the dirt, planting flowers, painting a wall.


 

CoachJenK :

the important thins is that you are together and you are not willing to give him up for anyone. i commend you for that.

CoachJenK :

going to stores, movies, kid themed restaurants....but again I am sure he is just happy to be with you and spend good time. so get creative and have FUN

CoachJenK :

let this girlfriend find someone who doesnt have children so it can all be focused on her. Stay true to your desires here.

Customer:

i knew the answer all along. i guess i just needed confirmation from somoene like yourself . my heart has been ripped apart for the last 2 and a half years. complete inner turmoil, like someone had taken my soul. my dilemma now is finding the right person who will accept my son, as i am 44 and want to settle down with someone. dont agree with dating services, dont like blind dates, and dont want to do computer dating. just want a soul mate!

CoachJenK :

You are lovely and I promise you that the right woman will come along who will love you even more for how devoted you are to your son. this one is not it and I am sorry she has given you such inner turmoil.


 

CoachJenK :

my two cents...nothing wrong with dating sites or blind dates...the more you open yourself up to all possibilities the more you will be able to achieve what you desire.

Customer:

had a blind date 3 weeks ago and it was a nightmare! couldnt get out of it and didnt want to hurt her feelings! i also wonder what calliber of people they are if they are resorting to a website to get a date!

CoachJenK :

thats funny and you are not alone. Everyone can fill a notebook with blind date horror stories. Believe it or not good caliber people....the internet has made it possible for people to meet in new and different ways. do you think a good caliber is hanging out in a bar looking for love?


 

CoachJenK :

so all i am saying is be open to it...some dates will be bad but you might just find that pearl.

Customer:

funny you say that i ran into my x/ sons mother, in a barroom and look where she is now! on the other side. there are no keepers in the bar room. thank god i am sober now. i did get a beautiful son though. i have to say before i leave that, prior to finding this site, i spent about 5 min. a week on the computer. now i am spending 5 hrs a day. it is an invaluable resource and i love it! you have given me life altering advice in a good way! i am extremely happy with your sevice and i hope i am lucky enough to chat with you again if i have any questions. TTYL

CoachJenK :

You are so very kind and i thank you. Good work with your sobriety..keep it up. you can request me anytime. Please take a moment to click on the rating tab to rate my work.

CoachJenK :

can you do that for me now? you will have a copy of our time together once you complete the rating.

CoachJenK :

Did I lose you?

Customer:

there is not a high enough rating below. what is above excellent! whoever your twins father is , im sure knows he is the luckiest man on the face of the earth. god bless you!

CoachJenK :

you are so very kind. I appreciate that so very much.

CoachJenK :

God bless you as well.

Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1744
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
Coach Jen K. and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered