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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2744
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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My daughter is a graduate student at a very good university;

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My daughter is a graduate student at a very good university; a smart, reserved, kind young woman. She has not dated much, always busy studying and working - we are not wealthy...
She fell in love with a man of different background, nice man... They are friends, going out once in a while and she hopes one day he will come and tell her about his great love for her...
But year after a year he is not, he is distanced himself from her. I think he is gay, they never had a romantic encounter for more than 2 years...
She became not herself, lying in bed for hours and starring at the celling, calling psychic network every day, spent thousands dollars, failed a job interview, and things are getting worse...
She claims she is very much connected to him, the attraction stronger than her
Could this be possible, that love affection could be so overwhelming and destructing to a rational person?

earthsister :

Good evening, I would like to help you today.

earthsister :

Yes, I do think, and have witnessed one becoming so in love with another that they cause themselves to suffer or deteriorate in a way.


please respond if you have the experience

earthsister :

When you talk to your daughter, what do you say to her, and how does she respond?

earthsister :

and as I mentioned, yes, I myself have witnessed this with a close friend.


I need a comprehensive response from an expert. Thank you.

earthsister :

I do understand, and I am seeking to give you the comprehensive response that you are seeking. In order to do so, however, it helps for me to ask some initial questions so that my response is accurate. Your question has been sent to the parenting category, are you seeking the help of a psychologist instead? This would be my recommendation for your daughter, as it sounds to me like she is dealing with some self-esteem issues.


This is not satisfying answer, i need an expert for an advice. Please reassign this question to a counseler with right professional background


earthsister :

I see that you are attempting to rate my answer, but I have not provided one; I am attempting to re-route your question. I only ask that you refrain from rating my inquiry, and give me the time to provide you with the help you want. Thanks

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families. Hi I am stepping in as the above expert has asked me to do so.


I am sorry to hear of the pain your daughter is going through. it sounds to me that she pinned her hopes on this man coming around to be her great love and to have the relationship develop into something more serious. Now that this has not happened it sounds to me as if she is suffering from depression which may have been underlying as she has been more reserved and inward focused. This relationship held out hope for her and it has now tapped into her fears and worry that she is not worthy or will never find love. That is why she is tapping into the psychics in the hope of getting some divine answer or meaning to it all. the lying in bed, and having difficulty with daily tasks or job interviews, indicates depression and maybe anxiety. But to answer your question simply...this affection can absolutely have a very hard impact on her emotional state and cause her to sink into this depression, no matter how smart and rational she is.


My best suggestion would be to get her to see a therapist in the area. She needs a safe place to talk of all of her feelings so she can begin to heal. She feels deeply wounded and needs the extra support to get through this. I am more than happy to help you find someone locally if you need help in that area. Please let me know your thoughts and how I may support you further. it can be quite scary as a parent to see your child deteriorate in this way, so let's get her some help as soon as we can.

TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2744
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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