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professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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My son is spending all night playing on the computer and sleeps

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My son is spending all night playing on the computer and sleeps through the day, he is 18 and currently awaiting results of his A levels, his obsession with the computer has affected his college life, up until the last few months he has been affectionate & witty but now he is very abusive he rarely goes out & I feel when his friends move on to university he will become more and more dependent on the internet. He has never had a weekend job & he received a small inheritance on his 18th birthday which is fast running out and it is obvious he has no intention of finding a job until his money runs out. We are struggling to know how best to deal with this situation.

professional_Alison : Hello there, may I help you? Thank you are asking for help I can assist you. Your son may be classed as an adult but is not behaving as one. You need to take the computer out of his room explaining that he needs to get the balance back between going out with friends and staying at home and going on the computer. Restrict him to two hours a day on the computer and encourage him to get a part time job. While he is living with you he has to live by your rules and talk to you with respect. You need to be firm here as set in place clear boundaries. It is fine for him to stay up late and get up late but not stay in bed all day. Explain that you are happy for him to stay up late but you want him up and dressed by 11am I the holidays. Let him know you are happy to support him on lookIng for work but in the mean time get him to help with jobs around the house too. It would also be a good idea to get him involved in an interest other then the computer, perhaps football or an evening class in something he is interested in. He may not like what you are saying but does not have a choice while he is living with you. Explain that you are worried about him and are trying to help guide him in the right direction. If he does not listen to what you say it may also be worth writing him a letter setting in place the new rules, for example only two hours on the computer and up and dressed by 11am. I hope this has helped answer your question, do let me know if I can assist you further.

We have tried to encourage him with other interests but cannot physically force him, he has also caused damage to the house when he has lost his temper, the last time we took money off him to pay for the damage. I agree the computer has to be removed and perhaps removing it to a family room first to see how things go may be a good idea.

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