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earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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Im a step parent to 3 great kids. A 13 yr old boy, 11 yr old

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I'm a step parent to 3 great kids. A 13 yr old boy, 11 yr old boy and a 7 yr old girl. We got full legal and physical custody of them because the mother physically assulted one of the kids. She is mad at us and keeps calling cps on us. The last one she said that we don't feed them. The 13 yr old is VERY lazy and is extrealy picky about what he will eat. I have told him at times that if he doesn't like what i'm making for lunch etc. he can make something himself.
I don't think there is any guidelines to help inform parents as to what age a kid should start taking on other responsibilities like making food for themselfs, laundry, staying home etc.
I know the answeres greatly depend on the kids maturity level and mental capasity. All 3 kids are extreamly smart and mature. My 7 yr old almost makes home made waffles all by herself. But I don't let her use the waffle maker without adult supervison.

Is there a website that gives a rough outline as to around what age/ maturity level kids should start doing certain things?

What do you think?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 2 years ago.

earthsister :

Good evening, I would like to assist you today.

earthsister :

You are absolutely correct that each child advances and matures at his or her own pace. Many factors help to determine when a child is ready to take on certain tasks; the upbringing of that child, personality, genetics can play a part, and of course the environment and people that influence the child on a daily basis. Just like with schooling, however, there are general ages when children can be expected to be mature enough to handle certain tasks. As you mentioned, your 7 year old can make waffles on her own, some 1o year olds can't do that, but generally that is because they are not taught to, and given the opportunity

earthsister :

I think that overall it truly is dependent on the personality of the child and parent, as well as the other factors that I mentioned that determines when children are ready for certain responsibilities. It takes a parent knowing his or her child, and exposing the child to different tasks, supervising and giving them a chance to do it themselves. Of course age appropriately; no matter how mature a 8 year old may seem, I would not suggest letting them light the fireplace.

earthsister :

There are various resources however that do provide insight on when children may be prepared for various responsibilities; please give me one moment, and I will retrieve several for you

earthsister :

http://www.lotsofkids.com/LOK-Household/Articles/age-appropriate.php

earthsister :

http://www.parentsareimportant.com/2010/11/age-appropriate-chores-and.html

earthsister :

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting_challenges/motivating_kids_to_clean_up/age_appropriate_chores.aspx

earthsister :

Above are three pretty comprehensive lists by age, some even start with infants, of when children may be expected to handle certain chores and responsibilities

earthsister :

I would lastly like to add the importance of being patient with the children. I am not aware of all the specifics of how your step children were raised, but I do know that it has to be tough, at least mentally to not have one of your parents in your life, especially it being their mother. Definitely set rules and boundaries for the children, because following rules and knowing boundaries can mean the difference between life or death, however understanding their background, and what they must deal with mentally in regards XXXXX XXXXX mother, do be sensitive and understanding in your approach with them. If you have any further questions, or feel that I have not provided you a sufficient answer, please message for earthsister. Thank you

earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience: Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
earthsister and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  earthsister replied 2 years ago.
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