Good afternoon, I would like to assist you today.
Oh can babies/toddlers be testy during the transition from infancy to toddler-hood; I have twin 16 month old girls, and they can be two fussy mamas as well
Children at this age primarily fuss and throw tantrums to get attention or to communicate something that they want; generally wee the parents don't understand them, so as a result, a tantrum occurs
A big goal at this stage is to help the 19 month old advance in his communication skills. This is of course done in a multitude of ways, reading to him, pointing to things and naming them, paying attention to what he says, because he may have developed his own word to represent something that he wants.
By teaching him how to communicate his wants and needs, this gives him another alternative to express what it is he wants
Also commonly, toddlers will act out for attention; whether good or bad. When he doers have these kind of outbursts, as long as no one or nothing is being harmed, sometimes its best to ignore the fits and just let him get the crying out. If he has been active enough throughout the day, and has eaten well, this should make for a good, much-needed nap.
Another method of stopping a tantrum is to redirect his attention to something else
Whether its a toy, a song, television program; whatever works best for your son; the only thing that eases my girls a lot is Sesame Street.
Also a good strategy is to try to recognize the times where he is most prone to throw a tantrum, and redirect his energy before it occurs; if you know he commonly fusses before bed time, try reading him a story, or watching a video with him before bed; if it happens in the grocery store, bring his favorite toy or book along as distractions
I do discourage your daughter from spanking, trust me, I know how annoying a fussing baby can be; try two. But generally, all this does is teach children that hitting is ok, and makes them cry more or fear their parent. Encourage your daughter to try some of these other methods; and if all else fails, and I suggest to do so anyway in case she hasn't already, be sure to have regular visits with his pediatrician to ensure that there is no underlying developmental delays. Overall, your daughter just needs to stick through it, and keep working different methods. Tantrums are very common for children at this stage. Encourage your daughter to remain calm, and keep working to teach her son to communicate in other ways. Here is a link that may be of assistance to you all as well:http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/tantrums.html#