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professional_Alison
professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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Customer Question

How do you teach a 19 mo old how to treat his new born sibling w/o making him feel alienated?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 2 years ago.

professional_Alison : Hello there, may I help you?
professional_Alison : It's important here for the sibling to be involved in there new baby. HelPing
professional_Alison : Mummy is a role that can make them feel valued and important.
professional_Alison : Allowing them to have cuddled with the baby and yet still having individual attention from you. There should be lots of discussion about being a big brother or sister and how special it is. Allow them to choose a gift for the new baby and also buy them a special little gift as they are now a big brother or sister.
professional_Alison : Show them how to stroke and kiss the baby gently and support them when having a cuddle. It's important not to leave them alone together as 19 months old is still very you g and they have limited understanding. There are some lovely board books available on Amazon about new baby's and being a big brother/sister and these can help you to support there under standing.
professional_Alison : The important thig is to be consistent with your older child, repeat words like gently, softly, stroke, and praise this behaviour. Your child will quickly learn what behaviour is praised and meets your approval. I hope this has helped answer your question. Please do let me know of I can be of further assistance.
Customer :

Besides the fact that I think your advice is rather senseless ("Mummy is a role that can make them feel valued and important." What does that mean?), I didn't want to chat, and can't seem to get away from it. It's a boy, not a girl, he's not likely to want to be a mummy, and is at a stage in his development where he doesn't know his own strength. Main complaint is that I didn't seem to have a choice about chatting.

Expert:  earthsister replied 2 years ago.
Hello, I gave birth to my second child when my first-born was 15 months. What I do think helped was always referring to his baby brother (while in my womb) by his name, and explaining to him that his little brother is in there, let him feel the baby kick, touch your stomach and talk to the baby. Get some age appropriate books for your 19 month old, to help teach him about having a new baby in the family. One such book is "I'm a Big Brother" by Joanna Cole. I had (still have) this book and my son loved it: http://www.amazon.com/Im-Big-Brother-Joanna-Cole/dp/B0012F9VS4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1342324470&sr=8-2&keywords=im+a+big+brother+book

Be sure not to force your 19 month old to grow up so fast, allow him to have his own baby moments as well; as he is still coming out of that stage. Let your son help you decorate and prepare for the baby as much as possible. This will make him feel included, and teach him how to be a helping hand with the new baby. Here is a link that should provide you a little further insight on how to prepare your toddler for a new baby: http://www.ivillage.com/10-ways-prepare-your-toddler-new-baby/6-n-138602

Here as well is a video that may be of help: http://www.parentsconnect.com/videos/how-to-parenting/prepare-toddler-for-new-sibling

If there is any other way that I can assist you, please message for "earthsister." Thanks.
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 2 years ago.
Hello, it said helping Mummy but cut off when I was typing, sorry you didn't find my answer helpful, but if you think about a 19 month olds understanding and you stating he doesn't know his own strength then the use of appropriate vocabulary and support is how to teach him to be gentle. I have 17 years experience with this age group and can help you.With regard to the chatting, I am not sure exactly why you mean, this site is for patents to ask questions and experts to answer and advise.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thanks for your help. I got a very useful response from another expert, and am quite satisfied. Have a good day.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I have answered this already, and am not happy to keep being asked. I don't think that this is a good bit of advice, didn't like being required to chat, and don't want to keep answering.

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