How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask earthsister Your Own Question

earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
67703226
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
earthsister is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a 4 yr old son and recently had to take custody of my

Customer Question

I have a 4 yr old son and recently had to take custody of my grown daughters two kids who are 6 and 4. They have had no discipline and are like wild animals. The screaming, fighting, throwing things is taking its toll on me and my marriage. I'm tryinto keep my cool but I don't know how to get these kids under control. My son was a joy and easy, polite and sweet. Now he is just as wild as them and I'm starting to resent them. Help
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 2 years ago.

earthsister :

Good evening, I would like to be of assistance to you today.

earthsister :

Seeing that you are dealing with several different children, with different personalities and ages, you may have to approach the form of discipline that is used for each one accordingly. As you yourself have noticed, 123 Magic only works with the oldest sometimes. The foundation of providing order in these youngster's lives is first with sitting them down and having a discussion with them about the rules of the house. Use this discussion as a time to teach and interact with them, ask them questions like, "what kinds of things can we do together to have fun and stay out of trouble?" They may provide outlandish recommendations, but at least you will begin a dialogue with them that shows them that you want them to be good, and they may even be able to give you some good insight to things that would keep them entertained and out of trouble. They are definitely old enough to get involved in little league sports or clubs; this would be a good time over the summer to get them into some organized activities to help teach then focus, cooperation, and good behavior. When one of the children begins to scream or hit, calmly stop the behavior and explain to the child how hitting and screaming is no way to get what he or she wants. Give them recommendations of alternative ways to get what they want, through asking, good behavior, cooperation, etc.

earthsister :

While it is necessary to set punishments for poor behavior, it only works with giving rewards and praise for good behavior. When you find the children working well and being good together, stop to take notice: "I am so proud of you all, you have been good all day today, I think this calls for pizza!" Do these things just because they are being good, not as a bribe to get them to behave. When they do misbehave, set a clear punishment: no tv, toys, outside, time out may work for them at this age; and be clear in explaining to the children what kind of behavior you expect for them in order to get out of the punishment. Remain firm in the punishments you set, but also be flexible in regards to what the offense was and how well they improve their behavior. When you are correcting behavior, work to refrain from telling them no all the time, but instead let them know that what they are doing is not the appropriate way to behave, and give them options of how to improve their behavior. If one of the children is throwing things, explain that throwing things is not the right way to express anger because it breaks things and people might get hurt. Give them a choice of other options that they can do to relieve frustration. If they have done bad enough to get put in a time-out, let them know that after their behavior is improved they can have an option of doing one of the alternatives to releasing their frustration (painting, singing, dancing, running, etc.).

earthsister :

There may also be times with slight misbehaving that the best option is just to ignore the bad behavior. Children often do things (good or bad) in order to get attention. Don't allow the negative attention seeker to win. I would also recommend that you are sure to take the children regularly to the pediatrician so that he or she may be able to diagnose any possible health related issues that may be a cause of either child's bad behavior. Here is an article that provides further detailed recommendations of how to discipline your children and help them to develop self-control:http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_About_Discipline/?page=3

earthsister :

If you need any clarification on my answer, or a more in depth response, please do not hesitate to message for earthsister.

Expert:  earthsister replied 2 years ago.
Our chat has ended, but you can still continue to ask me questions here until you are satisfied with your answer. Come back to this page to view our conversation and any other new information.

What happens now?

If you haven’t already done so, please rate your answer above. Or, you can reply to me using the box below.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HE/heidi1107/2012-2-18_15325_Heidi.64x64.jpg Heidi LPC's Avatar

    Heidi LPC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    Licensed Professional Counselor