I understand what you are saying. The teenage years are difficult and we hope they will get through it and become who we raised them to be. Did you give any consequences when she did not obey besides her not coming home. That may be something she may enjoy doing. What about trying if she does not come home then she does not go back out again for a week or etc. Does she get allowance? Do you buy her things? You can also cut that out. Does she have a computer or cell? You can also remove those things. These are just some ideas. Maybe you can try making the punishment harsher. You can also try maybe some you and her time. Maybe go to eat or a manicure together or even a walk in the park. Just by communicating may help to change her attitude, but not necessarily communicating about the problem just to take a break and enjoy each others company.