How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask JohnMichaels,MS,LPC Your Own Question

JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 349
Experience:  25+ years working with familes and 6 children of my own.
68372260
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How do you deal with parental alienation? My EX had my kids

Resolved Question:

How do you deal with parental alienation? My EX had my kids write letters on her behalf the last time we went to family court. At one point my daughter was living with me and I was still expected to pay child support for her while she was living with me. I informed my EX, that it was not possible for me to do that. Then my daughter said I pay you rent and you still pay mom child support for me. I said you have to make a choice, if you live with me I will not pay support for you. Over the years our relationship deteriorated, I am not keeping in touch with her. My other two sons hardly talk to me. They tell me my EX bad mouths me.
On my birthday none of them called to wish me happy birthday. The judge stated that our kids got involved was regrettable and left it at that
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.
Hello! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and have six children of my own. Note, this is not therapy, but advice. I hope I can be a help to you. This is a tough one but I am going to give it a try. First I need a little more information. What are the ages of your children? What would your children say is the reason they are not talking to you? When was the last time you had a "connection" with each of your children? What was going on then?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

With my daughter it started when she was approximately 12 years old. She stopped coming to my place and she never said why. When she was 18 she appeared at my doorstep and asked to stay with me. Then it came to a head with the child support and she moved out again. After that the relationship was cold and then she wrote that letter to the court against me on behalf of her mother.

My EX asked Peter to write a letter as well, but he refused. He kept his distance, because of the court case and he still is keeping his distance.

Paul is in Germany and we keep in touch from time to time. He also wrote a letter on behalf of his mother. When he stayed with me, he tried to make it a condition that I still pay child support to his mother even though he was no longer living with her. I feel that I am being used by kids as long as I was paying. They are all in their 20s. I saw my daughter and Peter on Christmas when we had a family get to geather.

Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.

As I am sure you know, at this age, there is no way to force the matter. they must decide on their own they wish to have contact with you. Children very often try to reestablish contact with their alienated parent as they become adults. They also often eventually see through the trash talk of the custodial parent...

Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.
I would say you continue reaching out to them, but without pursuing them. You do not want to push them even further away. Let them know you still care very deeply for them and wish to be a part of their lives. Whatever you do, do not down talk their mother. That is sure to backfire. You said they do not even wish you a happy birthday. Be certain to acknowledge theirs. Take every advantage of being a part of their lives. Be patient. Do not push. I feel certain in time they will reciprocate. I hope I have been of help. if you have any further questions, go ahead and ask, even after you accept. I do want to help you.
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 349
Experience: 25+ years working with familes and 6 children of my own.
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 2 years ago.
Hi! I appreciate you allowing me to help you maybe arrive at a solution the other day. I hope I was helpful. Let me know if I can help you in any other way.

John Michaels, MS, LPC

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered